tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71205362935757327832024-03-13T20:51:27.943+02:00Bucharest Burning*Random musings from a nonplussed expat in Bucharest who never learns that the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence. In fact, some places seem to be all fence and no grass. Still, there is a bit to like and a lot more to laugh at. Mainly because if you can't laugh, you'll probably cry.
*apologies to RiverbendVolguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-1080336468265589812017-04-14T19:45:00.000+03:002017-04-14T19:45:16.002+03:00Bureaucracy is Just a State of MindlessnessThere are those who insist I live a charmed life - for various reasons - but I normally disagree with them except in one case. I have indeed been dealt by Divinity a mercifully light touch in my need to deal with the Romanian State Bureaucracy. I'm going on 15 years as a local, and I must admit that my visits to Government institutions do indeed exceed the average interval needed for the ensuing trauma to heal. It also means that I'm finally equipped to see the matter's larger picture, to relate first-hand the progress and change the State has made over a long period of time. Case in point: renewing my residence card every five years. Hell, if I can notice how much my kid has grown after just two weeks away, then certainly I would notice how much the Romanian Government has improved its services and procedures after five whole years away, right?<br />
<br />
Oh, screw it, you already knew the answer three sentences ago. The Romanian State is perversely proud to confirm that it has made absolutely no progress in itself, not in the last five years, not since my first encounter with them a decade and a half ago. No progress, that is, unless you're cynical enough to count any made in the reverse direction. Which I am. And which it has.<br />
<br />
In partial fairness (they don't deserve all fairness), five years ago I was impressed by a shiny new electronic ticketing system which issued you a number based on which window you needed, and queued those numbers on a screen above said window. Exactly the same system my hometown bakery installed in 1978, but I digress.<br />
<br />
Additionally, the truly hopeful/deluded optimist might point out the progress made over the last few years in the State's informational Website... in that there's now a State's informational Website. Indeed, a casual observer (of a government website? Boy do you need a hobby) might think it truly impressive... on the surface. My wife Ioana spent weeks using it to guide us on amassing the correct documents, obtaining the proper proofs and signatures, and locating a suitable cargo truck to carry it all. Specific example: in the list of documents needed to request long-term residence, is "proof of paid health insurance" with the word "proof" a hyperlink defining itself as "a work contract plus a screen print of [my] entry in the Employee's Registry". Other hyperlinks in the list open editable PDFs, which - being editable - are universally understood to be filled in electronically; to prevent editability, it takes all of unchecking one box when you produce the original document. Still other requirements are notary documents proclaiming you own other documents which are themselves separately required in the same List. You also start to notice the shine worn off in other corners of the site - conflicting hints on which office you need, unclear hours of operation, phone numbers which are never, ever, EVER answered, and other generally absent or contradictory advice.<br />
<br />
Still, if it's on their site, in black and white, it must be Gospel, and somehow Ioana waded through the morass and came out the other side... dripping in sewage but triumphantly clutching an Old Testament's worth of dead trees. Off we jaunted to Old Town to the Bureau of Renewing Residence Permits.<br />
<br />
After wandering the building looking for any sign of any sign, we stumbled onto a central hall of windows and through process of elimination, got into line at the window labeled "Renew Residence Permits". Twenty minutes later we were brusquely informed of being at the wrong window. THIS was the window for Residence Permits for reasons of Commerce (if you're here for business). WE, obviously, needed the window for Residence Permits for reasons of Family (if you married a native). Of course the sign on the window made absolutely no such distinction, but okay, mistakes happen. I anticipated we'd be kindly directed to the next... window? Floor? Building? Try SECTOR. For a procedure which differs in virtually nothing procedurally but by one word of definition, we were shoved towards entirely another office across town.<br />
<br />
The next building I recognized as the one with the shiny new 1970s numbered-ticket system, so I assured my mate we'd get at least a taste of modernity and the efficiency it brings. Sure enough, just through the door was the machine as I remembered it... well, a lot more dusty than before, and - now that I got a good look - a lot more unplugged. The impressive LED screens above each window were similarly dark and atrophied, the whole system's purpose having been rendered academic by removing any actual choice of windows you might have. The roomful of absently milling downtroddens were more or less queued at the one remaining functioning window, and calling it "functioning" was a complete kindness.<br />
<br />
We arrived at about 1:00 in the afternoon, well ahead of the posted 2:30 closing time. In that 90 minutes, exactly two applicants were processed before us, one of which was simply sent home after mere seconds for incomplete paperwork. But with a whole ten minutes left, we finally sat down at the window only for the clerk to declare with no trace of compunction that she wasn't going to start any more clients today. Now in my considerable experience, a 2:30 closing time universally means no new clients are admitted after 2:30 but everyone already inside is taken care of until everyone already inside is taken care of. It usually assumes - and correctly so - that the clerk actually quits at a normal 5:00 or 6:00, working after 2:30 to process the stragglers. Apparently I also believe in the Easter Bunny and Trickle-Down Economics, because my obvious fantasy world was summarily swept out the door with the rest of the queue at precisely 2:30, like the dirt to which she clearly considered us akin.<br />
<br />
After a fitful night's sleep during which I'm told I kicked and punched the air while murmuring "viva la Revolucion", we set out at 8:30am to try again.<br />
<br />
The tone of the day was set early on at the underground parking facility. Being a locale unfamiliar, unlit, and basically unfit for patrons with less than four legs and/or a bladder with the nearest corner's name on it, I circled the lot once to find the pedestrian access, that I might park close to it.<br />
<br />
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS ISN'T A RACETRACK!" roared a sudden deafening growl from the inky depths. Moments later, the bellicose assault's author hobbled into semi-view of the dim light, an impressive testament to whatever tenacious science or magic had semi-successfully crossed a pancreatic tumor with a senile warthog, draped it in a carpark vest and taught it to speak. Upon explaining our actions, She-Thing brayed and pointed into the swirling mist towards the assumed exit, the jittery glare of at least one eye at a time berating us for not seeing the very obvious. Swiftly apologizing for not being up on current Morlock procedure, we beat a hasty retreat towards the daylight, where we knew she dare not follow under pain of liquefaction.<br />
<br />
Shortly thereafter, armed with pastries and coffee and a desperate desire for someone, ANYONE to confront me about bringing them to the office, we (frustratingly) uneventfully reappeared at the Office for the Clearly Masochistic at 9:00am behind only one other person already deep in conversation at the window - not actually being processed, but trying to clarify the steps needed - which meant we mercifully waited only 40 minutes for our turn. I'll bet you think I'm exaggerating by now, don't you?<br />
<br />
Finally we sat in the by-now-familiar chairs, but instead of yesterday's officious menopausal water buffalo, this morning's window sported a more youthful, superficially-attractive ginger, fomenting the desperate hope of a more open, more educated, possibly less nepotistically-placed intellect meeting us a bit more towards halfway within The System.<br />
<br />
Easter Bunny? Hell, apparently my naive beliefs go as absurdly far as Democracy and Mail-In Rebates actually arriving.<br />
<br />
In no time flat, half the documents we brought were dismissed as unnecessary. We pointed out that they had been expressly required by the Website, to the response of a resounding shrug. The PDFs which we filled out electronically... well, were we just plain stupid? They were OBVIOUSLY meant to be printed out and filled in by hand in the clerk's presence... despite this being stipulated nowhere and the PDFs not made ineditable. Conversely, the documents which - in our aforementioned-feeble-mindedness - we forgot to bring with us (notarized declaration that we possess a document which we were ALREADY PROVIDING in the list), subsequently proven as NOT among those required by the list on the website, were met with not only a shrug, but also the helpful and technical explanation of "I didn't make the website". And even though the specific definition of "Proof" mentioned above specifically DIDN'T mention an accounting affidavit of having paid some tax or other or being debt-free or God knows what, it nevertheless was required and we should clearly have known that. How? Shrug. Oh, and another slight detail: we should have started this process six months before we knew we should have started this process, because it takes up to six months. When we asked where this information was available to read, her answer was "it's your duty to ask". When we then asked where it was listed who we should ask, let alone what, the ultimate answer was "Well, the system in America is much worse, so why do you complain?" With a footnote to the effect that everyone apparently KNOWS the website is outdated and incorrect, and the only way to address it is to file a complaint. With whom, you doggedly ask? Well, if that information isn't on the Website, or if it IS but likely incorrect, then you're supposed to just KNOW who to ask who to ask what to ask. Do we have to tell you everything just because we require it? You're a big boy, go find out for yourself, why do you have such a problem? Have a nice day, we're the Government, we're here to help you. We're now closed for holiday until Wednesday. Time to go pay "Bellowing Baba the Parking Goblin".<br />
<br />
So, the roller-coaster ride isn't over, but I suspect that from here on in it'll just be more of the same. I'll add anything that particularly surprises, good or bad. But my Five-Year Report (not to mention my 15-Year Report) on the Romanian State is shaping up to say that it remains an insurmountable cesspool of mindless automatons whose heads are so far up their asses that they taste each meal twice. Everyone hates their job, therefore themselves, therefore all of us, but loves too much being the despot of their own tiny dungheap to tell the influential relative who got them there that they quit. And in my heart of hearts, I can't entirely dismiss our carrot-topped toady's "rationale" that it's the same everywhere else. "Zootopia" didn't depict US DMV staff as sloths for nothing. But sloths are still slightly better than the unholy mutant hybrid of garden slug and quadriplegic boar which typifies a Romanian State clerk. Are they really that okay with - nay, proud of - being arrogant puerile assholes, simply because somewhere there's a slightly larger asshole against whom they look slightly better? If they'd put just HALF as much effort into doing their jobs as they do into perpetuating their long-rotting Communist contemptuousness, they might actually join us - albeit baffled and blinking - in the 21st Century.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-26551494033706809342014-06-27T13:21:00.000+03:002014-06-27T13:21:10.518+03:00Who Crushes the Crushers?<div class="MsoNormal">
If my <i><b>Facebook Friends</b></i> list looks a bit pedo, it's because I
get friended by many young people who meet me at conventions. Not entirely sure
why, but if it's because they hope I'm as dorky in real life as I am on stage,
well... err, let's change the subject. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In any case, I generally welcome it because their infusion
into my Newsfeed keeps me in touch with the thoughts and vibes of our
unavoidable future. But what I mainly take away is that teen and
twenty-something behavior hasn't changed so much since my day, as much as the
<i>outlets </i>for said behavior. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I present Exhibit A:
<b>The Crush</b>. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Longing for someone you can't have is healthy and normal,
and in school-age, even cute... up to a point. This "point" is
determined by how much or how often you call attention to your crush. <b><i>Here </i></b>is
where technology may hurt more than help. Waxing wistfully about your wishful victim among your small group of close friends at school or on the phone is how it
was, and still is, within the traditionally-safe zones of <b><i>moderation</i></b>.
Facebook, of course, now allows you to share your crush with not just your
three closest friends, but all <i>three thousand</i> of them. Still, I'm willing to concede
this is the new "normal", no Luddite I. So when my FB Newsfeed
flashes me someone's occasional share of a shirtless, hairless,
distinguishing-featureless Bieberesque of the month, I take it in stride and
scroll on. But when the very next post is another photo of the same toy boy,
and <i>the next</i> and <i>the next</i>, a few warning flags go up. First, dear crusher, did
you consider that not <i><b>all </b></i>of your FB friends are fellow frustrated teen girls,
and for the rest of us, one, perhaps two photos of these cookie-cutter pubescents
is the maximum tolerance for our digestive systems? And second, did you really want all your
friends to know you're so desperately lonely, on your way to full-fledged stalker?
This is how big a difference one (or nine) too many photos of your crush can
convey. So, for the benefit of all my Millennial FB friends, I humbly offer:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><u>Ken's Handy Guide to Posting Your Crush</u></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">1 Post</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><u>Conscious
Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Okay, yeah, I can see it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Unconscious
Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Normal, healthy, maybe cute</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">2 Posts in a row </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Conscious Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Whatever
floats your boat </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Unconscious Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Could get out a bit more<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">3 Posts in a row </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Conscious Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Shouldn't
you be studying? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Unconscious Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Hope
she doesn't know his email<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">4 Posts in a row </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Conscious Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Wow,
stalker much? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><u>Unconscious Reaction</u>: </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Step
AFK and masturbate already.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, given how a younger generation is inclined to
heed the experience and wisdom of an older, I don't expect to meet a lot of
agreement with my suggestion, much less compliance. In fact, the most recent
girl with whom I addressed this behavior countered, inexplicably, by calling me
a hypocrite. Clearly not knowing the definition of the word, she nevertheless
unfriended me and spared me a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. And this is probably the best I can expect
from anyone else in the similar situation. If you can't keep your stalker-crush
reasonably in your panties, just <b><i>unfriend </i></b>me before you broadcast your dozen
posts about him and save us both the headache.</div>
Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-41181794626620314752013-10-02T22:46:00.000+03:002013-10-02T23:59:12.073+03:00No Smooth-On for You, Romania! NEXT!It's clear that this blog has largely devolved into one man's journal of his quixotic campaigns against stupidity. It's pretty much the only outlet I have. I'm not rich enough to sue idiots into submission, nor criminal enough to beat them into it. But at least I can write about them! I make sure it never descends into outright (<i>read: actionable</i>) libel, and in fact I normally just let the <i>idiote(s) du blogpost</i> hang themselves on their own rope by exposing their own imbecility in their own words.<br />
<br />
But so far it's been feeble-minded <i>individuals </i>whom I've taken on in these pages. One-on-one dealings with a person who has somehow evaded cerebral karma with impunity, leaving my only recourse to shame him/her with the spotlight of public scrutiny. Doubtless it never knocks any sense into the offender, but it vents my spleen and strangely entertains my small circle of readers and that will have to be enough.<br />
<br />
But today we don't have an individual in the hot seat, we have a <i>whole company</i> (it's a very stretchy seat)! Specifically, a company as represented by two people, its Vice President and his (assumed) flunkie.<br />
<br />
Now, bear with the backstory because it's important. You know of my involvement in making props and costumes, what the kids call "cosplay" nowadays. Much of it involves carving or sculpting shapes from wood, foam, clay, etc. and making copies of them in plastic to get a more durable and/or repeatable version. Simply put, you pour liquid rubber which solidifies into a mold around the shape, which you then peel off and fill with liquid plastic which solidifies into the final cast(ed) item. In my younger USA days, I found the best combination of quality and convenience in a brand of these products called "Smooth-On". I'd order and pick up my purchases from their actual manufacturing HQ, rather than from resellers, which put me on a pleasant first-name basis with much of their top personnel.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to Romania, where, as you may know, exists a cosplay culture, not to mention a few movie/TV studios, who could really benefit from a local source of these molding and casting products. There is one online shop which carries a limited array of German product, but nothing approaching the range and quality offered by Smooth-On. S-O has distributors around the world but nothing very useful to Romania. But I've dealt with a few of these distributors and was certain I could join their ranks. So I fired off an email query to Smooth-On asking how to become a distributor.<br />
<br />
Oh, did I mention that was in <b>2006</b>?<br />
<br />
My first clue back then was the fact that you couldn't even access Smooth-On's website in Romania, as their ISP blocked this country's IP addresses. Yes, apparently they were so afraid of this World Capital of Corruption that they feared even a casual surfer to their site would somehow undoubtedly infest it with trojans and hack all their bank accounts. Needless to say, I never got a response and the failed endeavor faded into memory.<br />
<br />
Fast forward a little more to the current Romanian cosplay culture wherein many artisans are graduating from building their wares from duct tape and cardboard, into real expression of their talents through more appropriate materials. Like <i>liquid rubber</i> and <i>plastic</i>... hmm, where have I heard that before? Oh yeah! Time to take another look at Smooth-On. Now not only is their website reachable, but they're on <b>Facebook </b>too, in both cases with tons of free, helpful tips, videos, tutorials, and examples of artists around the world who use their products. Surely they are now more open-minded, globally, and just waiting to hear from an entrepreneur eager to introduce their wonders to Romania! <i>Surely</i>!<br />
<br />
Sure.<br />
<br />
Another email to their only proffered address for inquiries yielded nothing, same as before. Ditto a phone voicemail and a direct plea to an S-O exec via LinkedIn. But now, there were other options! Specifically, I could also attempt to reach them on Facebook, where someone would surely respond from such an active site of several posts per day. Admittedly, by this point I was a bit snippy, but who could blame me?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Facebook Message: From Ken Huegel To Smooth-On on May 21<br /><br />Greetings. I am an American currently living in Romania and former Smooth-On client. In recent years, I have made several inquiries to Smooth-On about becoming a distributor in Romania. Most recently I left voicemail and a message on Linked-In to Mr. Joe D. To date I have not received any reply. My experience with Smooth-On in the '90s and 2000s was of a professional company and I would like to think that is still true. Therefore I believe I'm not out of line in requesting the courtesy of a reply, yes or no, to my inquiry. I am very serious in my desire and see no reason to expect equally serious reception. I await your response, as I have been. Respectfully, Ken Huegel</span></blockquote>
And lo and behold, a reply! Of sorts. Two weeks later.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Facebook Message: Smooth-On to Ken Huegel on June 03 </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hi Ken,<br />Though Joe D. is currently travelling, I will submit your inquiry to my supervisor and forward an email to Joe looking for more information. My direct email address is j.@smooth-on.com If you could send me your information directly, that would help quite a bit. Thank you.</span></blockquote>
<i>This was the foot in the door!</i> I continued in regular email.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Monday, June 03, 2013 5:15 PM<br />To: 'j.@smooth-on.com'<br />Subject: Distributorship inquiries </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear J.; </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">THANK YOU for responding to my Facebook message. I was really beginning to take it personally. [...]I believe there is sufficient interest and demand in your products to sustain a local reseller here in Romania. I have had for years a small business registered in this country, with the proper activity authorization to import, use, and resell the chemicals that include your products. The time has now arrived for action, which means Smooth-On must meet me halfway. </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Therefore I kindly request any and all needed information on what is involved in being a Smooth-On distributor. I imagine you have a manual of sorts which includes specifications such as pricing structures, requirements on quotas, credit terms (if any), minimum best practices and behaviors of distributors as Smooth-On representatives, and possibly even downstream programs such as cooperative advertising and sponsorships. I'm not sure what else may be part of the process, but I assume you are.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for the opportunity to finally get my full story and inquiry out. This is a "dream" I have entertained for several years now, during which it has only garnered more interest in the industry around me. I look forward to your reply!</span></blockquote>
Now, if you care to invest the brain power, note the questions I asked, and when I asked them (early June). Next email came from yet another new name, the third so far I'd dealt with.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Heather<br />Sent: Thursday, June 06, 2013 2:03 AM<br />Subject: re: Your Smooth-On Distributor Inquiry</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello Ken,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for contacting Smooth-On with your interest in distributing our products. Will you also be using Smooth-On products yourself or do you intend only to resell them? What products and sizes are you looking to stock? What quantities are you looking to purchase? How do you intend to sell our products - retail location(s), online store, mail order catalog? Any additional information that you would like to provide is welcomed.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Please contact me by phone or email - whichever is more convenient. I look forward to hearing back from you. Enjoy your day!</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Kindest regards,<br />Heather</span></blockquote>
An innocuous-enough-sounding request for information which I was only too happy to fulfill:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Thursday, June 06, 2013 3:58 PM<br />To: 'Heather'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Greetings, Heather!</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for your reply. [...]I intend to standardize on Smooth-On Products for my own prop and costume business, and also [...] in demonstrations or workshops, [...] However, I envision the bulk of my Smooth-On trade going to reselling, from a sizeable group of amateur and semi-professional individual costume makers in the country, to the major film and TV studios in Romania[...]. In regards to quantities, I can only guess due to the "chicken-and-egg" syndrome - I won't have firm customers until I can offer product, and I can't estimate product need until I have customers. Additionally, virtually everyone I know who works with these materials tends to do so on a project basis, which means demand will certainly flow and ebb. However, I will ask them to try and estimate what they would use. In the meantime, do you have recommended "starter kits" for new distributors, consisting of a suggested range and quantity of "best-seller" SKUs?</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Online ordering and shipment by in-country (non-international) courier service is well established in Romania, and this will probably be my primary means of transaction. I have a 10-year-old Paypal business account waiting to be resuscitated, and company bank accounts in multiple currencies for non-Paypal ([...]bank transactions are almost always done by wire transfer). I certainly desire a storefront in the future if the business supports it. I live in a newly-constructed apartment complex which devotes its ground floor to very attractive shop space.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">[...]For the time being I prefer to communicate in e-mail so I have a record to refer back to. That, and our time zone is 7 hours ahead of yours, leaving a vanishingly small window when our business hours overlap! In any case, don't take it personally. I'm certain we will speak in person during this process. Hope to hear from you soon!</span></blockquote>
<b>A note about the edits <i>"[...]"</i>:</b> In my early correspondence with S-O, I tended to be overly personal and "folksy" in an effort to put them at maximum ease with dealing with oh-so-spooky Romania. So all I'm trimming are excess anecdotes and effusive rustic asides that would make an already-painfully-lengthy read even moreso. I promise I'm cutting out nothing relevant to the tone or the facts of the conversation.<br />
<br />
With that, the reply:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Heather<br />Sent: Friday, June 07, 2013 5:50 PM</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hi Ken,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for the information. I am traveling for the next week but will follow-up with you when I return. Until then, have a great day!</span></blockquote>
Fair enough, but the "next week" would have, conservatively, started on June 17. By July 1 I'd heard nothing so I took the initiative (again), folksy and disarming as ever (which means edits ahead):<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Monday, July 01, 2013 9:48 AM<br />To: 'Heather'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello, Heather - </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope you had a pleasant holiday as I did last week [...] At some point I would like to know a summary of what you expect of a distributor. My impression was that since your reseller network seems well-established and fairly consistent in individual look and feel, I assumed you had a standard "handbook" of basic guidelines and requirements. If instead each distributor is created on a case-by-case basis, then our flow of information, which has been largely one-way, will need to even out for me to get a better idea of what's ahead and how to respond accordingly. If, at this point it's more convenient for you to start communicating by phone, let me know and I will try to call you today - your 9:00 am is my 4:00 pm, such a generous overlap! </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope to hear from you soon!</span></blockquote>
As you might notice... folksy but a bit of the snippiness sneaking in. I'd dutifully answered all questions put to me, and received no answer to any of mine. A week and a half later, the reply arrived. My questions answered? Heck, no... more questions TO answer!<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Heather<br />Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2013 7:05 PM</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello Ken,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope you are doing well. In order to proceed, I need to know the specific products and sizes that you plan to stock. [...] I am also unclear about where/how you plan to sell our products. Forgive me if I misunderstood, but it sounded like you wanted to sell from your apartment - please confirm. What size is your retail location and do you plan to resell solely from a storefront or online (or both)? What countries are you planning to sell our products to other than Romania? Your payments would need to be made via credit card or wire transfer (we do not accept PayPal) and you will not be able to place orders online via our website for international exports. You will require a customs broker to clear customs if you use a freight forwarder, but will not if you use FedEx or similar.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I look forward to your responses.</span></blockquote>
This is when I really started to smell a rat. I'd already clearly explained my selling model - online only at first, which doesn't concern my apartment at all as a storefront. However, this is indeed common to do so in Romania, as I explained in the next reply. I also previously stated payments would be wire transfer - again, I never even mentioned Paypal. I also never mentioned selling to other countries besides Romania. The impression I got was that there was a list of "qualifier" questions that needed to be robotically satisfied before any real dialogue took place. So be it:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Thursday, July 18, 2013 11:59 AM<br />To: 'Heather'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Greetings, Heather - </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I agree it is important to reach an understanding. The basis for ours should probably be "they do things differently over here", likely a familiar theme if you've handled Smooth-On distributors outside the First World. [...] My ambition is to use my reputation and access in the professional and private circles in which I operate to build an education and demand for Smooth-On products. For lack of a better word, I plan to be Romania's Smooth-on "missionary".</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Do I have a pile of ready cash to use as seed money for this? No. Few small businesses in Romania do, at least legally. In the beginning my main investment into this distributorship will be personal more than financial. My first order from Smooth-On will be pathetic by your standards, because it will go towards creating giveaway rings of sample casting tags, and repackaged into trial-size kits to be handed out to select prospects, and used for in-person demonstrations at the offices of other prospects. My first order will not be used to generate direct revenue, but rather awareness and demand. The order itself will probably go like this:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">ONE EACH of most of your popular products, to create sample castings</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">KIT forms of your products as you offer them, for demos and samples and perhaps sales</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">[...]you are concerned (rightfully) about my storage and delivery plans. In this regard, the first thing you probably need to know about Romania is that there are no zoning laws. Entrepreneurs who can't find or afford proper shop or storefront space, can simply rent an apartment in any huge Communist-era bloc of flats and set up there. Any entrance to any apartment complex in Romania is framed with signs: "Accounting, Apt.6", "Auto Parts, Apt.23", "Law Firm, Apt. 32", "Printer Supplies, Apt.48" , and so on. For businesses which sell goods rather than services, the practice is to utilize secure storage space which each complex makes available, typically in the basement levels. A photo of the space available to me is enclosed. The interior location, by happy coincidence, provides a consistent, comfortable environment for Smooth-on products. </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Orders are made mostly online, sometimes by phone; product is retrieved from storage, and shipped by local couriers with whom the business maintains an open account. Obviously, this mechanism doesn't much allow for casual walk-in customers, but that's typically one of the incentives to move to the Next Level - that being a true walk-in storefront once the "apartment-basement" model is outgrown. So as you can see, I have the plan in place. It's a plan that might not be considered professional, let alone legal, in other countries, but in Romania it is what works and it is what's done.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">[...] I hadn't envisioned a need to sell to any other country which already has its own Smooth-On reseller. [...] If you have restrictions on such activity, I would be happy to know and obey them. In similar fashion, do you offer any kind of [<i>DON'T WANT ANYONE TO STEAL THIS FANTASTIC IDEA</i>] If there is a mechanism to address this, I would like to know that also.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope I have answered all your questions and more! What I needed to make clear to you, is that I am not a sprawling corporation simply looking to add Smooth-On to the dozen other lines of products I sell. I am, to coin a cliché, one man with a dream. Didn't Smooth-On start with one product to repair leaky pipes? If this is a paradigm that you can still support and work with in today's climates, then we have indeed arrived on the same page and I look forward to the next step!</span></blockquote>
I'll be continually apologizing for subjecting you, dear reader, to such insane verbosity in this post. But I feel it is essential to illustrate one thing: that I answered each and every question put to me in agonizing detail, to leave nothing to question, no stone unturned. What was my reward? This, two weeks later:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Heather<br />Sent: Friday, August 02, 2013 8:06 PM</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello Ken,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for the additional information. Our initial stocking order is $25,000.00 (not including freight). You still have not named specific products and sizes that you plan to stock. You will need to provide us with this information when you submit your initial order, along with your pre-payment. Please let me know how you would like to proceed.</span></blockquote>
<i>What did I miss? </i>This was the slam to end all slams. All this effort to foster understanding of the foreign ways we do things here, just to result in "<i>25 large, cash up front</i>", something sounding like a line from "Breaking Bad". With what can now, in retrospect, only be considered <i>extreme naivete</i>, I attempted to soldier on with the only weapons I had, appeals to intelligence and common sense:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Wednesday, August 07, 2013 1:45 PM<br />To: 'Heather'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear [Oops, accidentally used her last name],</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am highly concerned at the one-way flow of information in our exchange.<br />In summarizing our interaction thus far:</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have, to the best of my ability, answered every Smooth-On question, yet all of my many questions throughout our exchanges have gone unanswered.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Smooth-On has repeatedly requested details of my order, yet provided no pricing so that I can make informed decisions about filling such an order.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have explained in great detail how I am currently a small company in a small economy, and yet Smooth-On seems to impose a dollar quota reachable only by an established leading megafranchise.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Based on this, I am now forced to wonder:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Is Smooth-On taking this potential cooperation seriously?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Is Smooth-On genuinely interested in establishing a "ground floor" presence in a developing economy?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">How much value does Smooth-On really place on cultivating good relations with its distributors?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Is Smooth-On's goal immediate large profit to the exclusion of long-term growth assets such as resellers?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Frankly, from our interaction so far, I have yet to see the Smooth-On that appears so super-friendly and helpful on its website and social pages, the Smooth-On that I regularly dealt with in the past, at your own location, as a customer. The Smooth-On in our current exchange appears inflexible, uncooperative, dismissive of potential, not at all entrepreneurial and as such, highly disappointing.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">For the record, I have up to $[<i>BITE ME, IRS</i>] in ready credit, and if our flow of information had been two-way and your quotas realistically based on reseller capacity, we may already have been doing business. Even now, in the interest of still achieving this goal, I welcome you to correct my perceptions with serious and reasonable dialogue.<br />I await your response.</span></blockquote>
This is the first time I noticed I'd been addressing her by her last name. It wasn't intentional, but I can't guarantee it wasn't subconscious either. Maybe that's why I never heard from her again? By this time I knew I was being strung along, likely to get no useful interaction from Smooth-On. But I did at least hope for some closure. Alas, after three weeks without response, I attempted to kick it upstairs to Joe, the S-O person with whom I was initially told I should deal with:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 11:30 AM<br />To: 'j.@smooth-on.com'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear Mr. D.,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I gather from your online presence that you are a busy man. Yet I ask that you make the time to read this email exchange between Smooth-On and myself and weigh in on it. Since your name was the first one I was originally given in pursuing my endeavor, I want your input into this process, specifically to confirm if this is indeed how legitimate requests like mine are treated by Smooth-On. All I ask is that you read with the understanding that Romania is NOT the USA and the scale and procedures of its commerce differ accordingly.<br /> As you can see, it has been three weeks since my last communication to Smooth-On and I have yet to receive a reply, not that the flow of information was ever equally bidirectional to begin with. Therefore, I request your fair and reasonable assessment of what kept the following exchange from resulting in a mutually beneficial relationship, and whether or not it can still be so.</span></blockquote>
Well, to my utter surprise, Joe responded immediately with a full explanation of the misunderstanding!<br />
<br />
And if you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you, cheap.<br />
<br />
So, one MONTH after my note to Joe and nearly TWO months after my last note to Heather with no reply from either, I had no choice but to walk away and admit defeat at the hands of superior business acumen.<br />
<br />
Did I mention that bridge in Brooklyn?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Monday, September 30, 2013 7:47 PM<br />To: 'j.@smooth-on.com'; 'Heather'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear Mr. D. and/or Ms. H.;</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Based on the lack of progress in the enclosed correspondence, I have been made aware of my right to request a due diligence of Smooth-On's relevant business practices via the US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977. In order to determine the next step, please answer on record the following question:</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Has Smooth-On, Inc. interacted with SC HProps Design SRL at demonstrably similar levels of consideration and cooperation with which Smooth-On, Inc. would interact with any other current and potential Distributor of its products?"</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">A lack of answer to this email by COB Friday 04 October 2013 will be interpreted as a "no", as ISP data can prove its proper delivery if needed. </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I regret this potential course of action but as I have learned, non-native entrepreneurs in this country must often challenge the prejudice and resulting dubious business practices of foreign entities, via provisions such as the FCPA. I await your reply.</span></blockquote>
Was this a desperate last resort? Or a bluff? Let's just say I'd decided I'd been placed firmly in the category of "Nothing Left to Lose". But oh boy, less than ONE DAY LATER, look who woke up!<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Clay [VP OF SALES, NO LESS]<br />Sent: Tuesday, October 01, 2013 4:49 PM<br />Dear Mr. Huegel,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Heather [...] is traveling, so allow me to respond.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Heather presented your interest in representing us in Romania to me. I make all distributor decisions and receive many inquiries every week from people around the world seeking to be a Smooth-On distributor. Heather conveyed to you that our minimum inventory position for new distributors $25,000 worth of our materials. This is a requirement that we have applied to all who express an interest in selling Smooth-On materials. Those that meet the requirement are then considered seriously as a candidate for a distributor partner. Other requirements included a suitable warehouse facility with store front, a staff to service customers and more. Those that do not meet the requirement do not qualify.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am not understanding your question or your implied threat in sighting "the US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977". You accuse Smooth-On of prejudice and dubious business practices, but our requirements are clear and apply to all who express interest in selling our materials. You indicate that you cannot meet our minimum purchase requirement and therefore you do not meet our minimum qualifications as a distributor. </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I wanted you to know that we take your accusations quite seriously and respond accordingly.</span></blockquote>
Well, now, where had THIS guy been? If he'd come down from his ivory tower a bit earlier in the circus, things might have gone a bit differently. Still and all, I tried my best to explain myself all over again to the fresh meat:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Ken Huegel<br />Sent: Wednesday, October 02, 2013 6:03 PM<br />To: 'Clay'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear Mr. [HIGH MUCKY-MUCK VP],</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for your prompt and informative reply. It is unfortunate things had to go this far to finally receive one. I suspect if you had joined earlier in the process, it would not have so escalated. In that respect, I understand you are busy but please give this letter your full attention.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">First, let me clarify my FCPA reference. My concern was not that Smooth-On would fail scrutiny under this Act, but rather the spectre of such scrutiny would compel Smooth-On, as it has other US companies, to avoid doing business in countries with less-than-perfect reputations such as Romania. Perhaps then less a question of legality than of ethics, but pursuable nonetheless as has been necessary in the past. For the moment however, this concern is put aside.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Second, much of the information in your response is news to me. While Ms. Hanna grilled me thoroughly on my storage, budget and storefront capacity, at no time was I advised they did not meet your requirements. In fact, I received virtually no answers from Smooth-On, only more questions. It simply appeared that Smooth-On intended to string me along with no useful information until I gave up from exasperation. Even the final demand for the $25,000 initial order was made without any information needed to meet it, such as:</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What pricing would be used to build the order? (Certainly not retail, but no alternative was ever presented)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What methods and pricing of shipping do you employ?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What are the minimum size and frequency requirements for subsequent orders? Will credit terms ever apply?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What documentation (contract, bank transfer data, warranty) officiates the business relationship?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What support exists to ensure distributors meet Smooth-On's end-user experience requirements?</span></li>
</ol>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Product literature or templates, promotional/demo/sample materials, etc.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Corporate Identity Guidelines for logo placement and usage, website templates, etc.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Best Practices Guidelines, Staff Training Requirements, etc.</span></li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">These are basic, legitimate business questions which I asked more than once to no reply. To hear only "$25 grand, cash up front" is something one would expect from a drug dealer, not Smooth-On.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Third, your $25K demand is exclusionary to legitimate Small/Medium Enterprises, especially in developing market economies and especially during a global financial crisis. Is it considered a responsible business model to choose no distributor revenue at all, over a smaller source with strong growth potential? In a world of financial, technical, and similar corporations offering support for SMEs, does Smooth-On truly seek to actively discourage them?</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Regarding your other requirements, know that I already have suitable storage available and an online shop/delivery model ready to go. However, brand-new storefronts stand ready to rent in my own residence complex, and in this economy, applicants will flood the merest hint of a service staff position. But in no way will I undertake these investments until after I have assurances of product to sell. If you require the opposite, then we have a chicken-and-egg vicious circle where nobody wins. It bears mentioning that when I lived in NJ, I would phone in my smooth-On orders directly to C. at your St. John Street HQ and pick them up directly from your loading dock. I do not recall seeing any storefront as per your requirements.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In summary, there is viable market potential for molding and casting products in Romania. My considerable experience with several brands has made Smooth-On my first choice to fill this need. Whatever turnover my small business may start with, is still better than the virtually zero currently transacting in this market. I have no choice but to start small, but I have no intention to stay small. If your policy truly is to disregard such opportunity, then, again, nobody wins. I hold out one last hope this is not the case.<br /> <br />Finally, make the time to read, really read, the entire email between myself and Ms. H. I doubt anyone really has. I bent over backwards to explain my situation and intention. I probably erred in appearing more personal than professional, but it still accurately portrays my passion and efforts to make this happen. All I ask is that if you have any questions or doubts, please voice them to me instead of hiding behind arbitrary impossible requirements.</span></blockquote>
Not my most diplomatic of missives, but all things considered, the high point of my professional composition in this entire debacle. A masterpiece; concise, factual, standing its ground but yet still appealing to the common sense, or at least the business sense, of the recipient. I was so proud. I got the following back about ninety seconds after it was received, allowing conservatively for Internet travel time:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">From: Clay<br />Sent: Wednesday, October 02, 2013 6:06 PM</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dear Mr. Huegel,</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for your e-mail. We choose not to pursue a relationship with you at this time.</span></blockquote>
Boom! DE-nied. RE-jected. Clearly without my letter even being read. And with that, pride hereby goeth before the fall.<br />
<br />
Mr. Clay and his bunch choose to dismiss any potential revenue from a strongly-indicated growth market because I huwt dere widdle feewings. With my rapier weapons of common sense and appeal to reason, no less. <br />
<br />
Or is it something far simpler... good old fashioned corporate greed? Their $25K cost (aptly named) of entry is a completely arbitrary choice, apparently intended to act as a filter of some sort, possibly to weed out scammers looking to score wholesale prices for their personal purchases. Fair enough, but to mindlessly cling to that filter knowing how many "false positives" it may generate from eager, legit small business, preventing all but the largest First-World conglomerates from playing, is bad business, bad relations, bad everything. If Smooth-On has stockholders, they should take serious notice of this practice.<br />
<br />
Behind the ultra-friendly and helpful facades on their website and Facebook page appears to lurk a closed-minded mercenary culture of greed and snobbery.<br />
<br />
And I seem to now attract it from whole companies instead of mere individuals. I suppose that's some kind of progress.<br />
<br />
Shine me on, Smooth-On.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-77292137456166170572013-05-15T01:07:00.000+03:002013-05-15T01:07:33.724+03:00Once You Go Hypocritical Obstinate Militant Feminist of Color, You Never Go BackIt's not like I don't have enough to do with my time.<br />
<br />
So why do I do it? <br />
<br />
Why, when I happen across a wrongheaded point of view which screams out for a constructive rebuttal, can I not resist<em> taking the bait</em>? And why, when my good faith attempt to balance opinion with informed discourse, does it always scare the IQ right out of the recipient, who then resorts to name-calling, deletion of my input, denial that it existed, and/or general retreat to the safety of whatever gaggle of sycophants they have at their disposal? And most importantly, <em><strong>why oh why </strong></em>does this always happen at the <em>very end of the day </em>when I'm just about to head off to bed, so now I have to stay up all night blogging it and be a zombie tomorrow?<br /><br />Why climb Mount Everest? <em>Because it is there</em>.<br /><br />As you may or may not know, one of my few surviving hobbies of the original thousand or so, is "<em>cosplay</em>". It's the making and wearing of costumes from entertainment venues, most often sci-fi, fantasy, horror, animation, and other escapism. We usually gather with our work at conventions throughout the year, which also, sadly, gives one the regular opportunity to remove most of the country's geeks with one well-placed grenade. Fortunately your average jock wouldn't know how to pull out the pin even if he could stuff his sausage finger through the ring, but I digress.<br /><br />Through the miracle of <strong>Facebook</strong> and other similar social online thingies, cosplayers meet other cosplayers and a global cosplayer community has formed. This has brought great joy to the hobby but also no small amount of frustration, because behind every costume work of art is the person who made it, and people <em>aren't</em> always what they wear. There is more than enough friction when the costumes <em><strong>are</strong></em> concerned, with undercurrents, and occasional flare-ups, about accuracy, competitiveness, and the like. But this is <em>nothing</em> compared to what can happen when someone who's good at costumes thinks it makes him or her magically equally good at other things, like politics or other highly personal opinions. Because they use their cosplay pages or blogs as their soapbox on unsuspecting fans who really only want to know about the latest cosplay stuff. And thus our story opens.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/JayJusticeCosplay">Facebook - Jay Justice Cosplay</a><br />
<br /> Jay Justice (Real name? Dunno.) An East Coast cosplayer of admirable talent. A surprising number of her getups involve painting her entire body a different color - <span style="color: red;">red</span> for a character named Starfire, <span style="color: lime;">green</span> for She-Hulk, <span style="color: #666666;">silver</span> for Colossus. While I greatly respect someone who goes to such lengths to bring a character to life, it is ironically this very body-painting which revealed to me "JJ's" <em>true</em> colors. We'll start with her original post on Facebook.<br /><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Someone I considered a friend attempted to justify the use of blackface in cosplay to me today. Rather than post screencaps of that incident, I’m reblogging my opinion on blackface in general. Which is that it is unnecessary, dehumanizing and disrespectful. In all circumstances. It does NOT make your cosplay "more accurate". You cannot become Black by painting yourself brown. If your costume is on point, everyone will know who you are regardless of your actual race. The costume is THE COSTUME. NOT THE SKIN COLOR.</blockquote>
<br />Now seriously, did anyone's irony meter <em>not</em> explode? If not, things will become clearer soon. Next we wade through a few of the expected "<em>sing it, sista</em>" posts from the yes-men and wannabes who excel at sucking-up from the shadow of someone they admire.<br /><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Caroline D.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
People can cosplay across gender and still get the character perfect. No excuse for blackface.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br /></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Meaghan H.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I can't believe anyone would ever consider that okay. I suppose they don't even bother to research the history of blackface before going ahead with it. If a costume is well-made and key points are represented, I've never had trouble identifying the character someone was trying to portray.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Bryan L M. </span></blockquote>
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what if it Robert Downey Jr's character in tropic thunder LOL</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay </span></blockquote>
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Yes, RDJ'rs portrayal in that movie was blackface. Nothing more to say about it.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Bryan L M.</span> </blockquote>
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what if i cosplayed black panther? is that considered black face?</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay</span> </blockquote>
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If you paint your face, yes. If you don't, then no. I have a friend who is white & does classic Luke Cage, yellow silk shirt, chain link belt, silver tiara. There is no mistaking who he is. He doesn't paint his skin. He loves that character and he cosplays him. There is nothing wrong with that. If you dig Black Panther, cosplay him. Painting your skin won't make you Black. You'll still be a white guy cosplaying a Black character but there is nothing inherently wrong with that. Hell, I'll be Shuri.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Haus of M. </span></blockquote>
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People think it's as simple and just about "this one time," that they're talking about the present when they talk about doing something like this. They have no sense of the history and the connotations. This isn't just about some choice you're making for a convention this weekend, this is about years and years and years of oppression and hurt and bullshit. Blackface isn't just face paint, assholes, it's SOOOO much more. Oy vey. Thanks for taking the time to provide your insight on this, Jay, a lot of us (myself included) have a lot more to learn.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Neil C. </span></blockquote>
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plus if some one gives you crap about being a white luke cage just tell them multiverse same if people give you crap about being a black wonder woman or anything for any one really lol</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Brandie B. </span></blockquote>
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I was at a Halloween party and some girl arrived as Diana Ross complete in blackface. I'm pretty sure the look on my face was absolute horror. We were all pretty uncomfortable about it. And she had to keeo telling everyone that she was Diana Ross because I guess an afro and some paint makes you Diana Ross? If she would have showed up in some glitzy gown, some big hair and fake eyelashes, we probably would have gotten it, sans the blackface, and she wouldn't have looked like an asshole.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Thomas S. </span></blockquote>
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I have been asked a few times why I don't wear black face, or even a wig when playing Luke Cage. It is just not needed, Luke Cage is an Iconic character, no one misstates who I am paying homage to when I put on the yellow shirt and boots. If I were to cosplay the Purple Man I would go purple, or martian manhunter I would go green, because that is part of the character.and is indelible to what makes them unique. Luke Cage, Superman, Wonder Woman, Spiderman, Wolverine, Iron Man, Black Canary, Aquaman and a hundred other superheroes are not defined by something so trivial as melanoma levels</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Michael J. D.</span> </blockquote>
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I wouldn't even use blackface for a Dark Elf, as most of the ones I see in the official D&D books/comics are not actually black, but either charcoal gray or midnight blue, according to my crayon box.</blockquote>
<br /><br />It was at about this point I realized that everyone was missing a huge point. And my Devil's Advocate Mode kicked in, which is about as far from a Self-Preservation Mode as you could ever get. But I had at it anyway:<br /><br />
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Ken Huegel</span></blockquote>
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With all due respect, you are quite entitled to your opinions, but I see a serious double-standard here, with a topping of good ol' 'Murican "ever-ready-to-be-offended". Just going by your very own examples, painting yourself red, green, or silver is okay, but brown (which is NOT black, but that's another topic for another day) is not. Why? If you insist that the latter is never anything except an intentional slander of a race, then I think we should hear from some Native Americans about your Starfire cosplay. Or sufferers of hyperchromic anemia about your She-Hulk. Or of argyria about your Colossus. According to your own opinion, you are maliciously slurring sufferers of these chronic illnesses, not to mention the only race even more oppressed by Whites than yours. If you heard from one of these "victims" (surely imminent in lawsuit-happy USA), how would you dispute their umbrage without also questioning your own? </blockquote>
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I would enjoy a serious* discussion about this. If nothing else, I hope not to see this post disappear because it dared to not join the "you go, girl" chorus.</blockquote>
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* Note to your sycophants: "well yur a dick" is not serious discussion. ;-)</blockquote>
<br />
My input actually got 2 or 3 "Likes" right away, and even a subsequent post about what an interesting debate this had become. (Why the footnote about "serious discussion? See previous blog entry.) And I was <em>really telling the truth</em> about wanting to discuss this. Unlike most people, I often want to understand how someone else's mind can work so differently from mine. Of course, now that I think of it, in all the times I've tried this approach, it's worked... hmm... about zero times. And Jay Justice was to be no exception. By day's end, my post had <em>vanished</em> despite my pre-emptive plea, as did any post that commented on mine. In it's place was this:<br /><br />
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay</span> </blockquote>
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I stopped talking to the friend who insisted that blackface was okay, and this is someone who I have known in real life for years, since before I even began cosplaying. So anyone who thinks I'm going to humor their opinion on this topic has the wrong impression of me.You're not going to change my mind, and you're certainly not going to get anywhere by telling me that me cosplaying She Hulk, Colossus and Starfire is racist too. You're just going to get banned from my page.</blockquote>
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Have you ever wondered why Black cosplayers typically don't paint themselves white when cosplaying white cosplayers? It's because we know that we're all just people, and it won't make the costume more accurate, we'll just look silly. It's ridiculous. The costume is the costume, not the character's white skin.</blockquote>
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Whereas Blackface is dehumanizing, because it implies there is something so different about us that you can't really do a Black cosplay 'correctly' if you're not Black, without painting your skin. Is that all we are to you? Some pigment in a jar? Uhura is Uhura, you get that dress & hairstyle right & you're good to go. You're bringing to life a character you love, there's no need to paint yourself darker to show us that. You're not going to suddenly be Black once you've tanned. And tbh, unless you're entering into the World Cosplay Summit, cosplay doesn't have to be about accuracy. It's about fun! When did we forget that?</blockquote>
<br />And additionally of course, I'm now banned from posting anything more on her page. <br /><br />So once again, I try to bring balance to the Force with an equal but opposing viewpoint, and once again it's wasted breath. Because people like this only want to spew out their opinions and collect the "<em>oohs</em>" and "<em>aahs</em>" from their own little peanut gallery which "<em>oohs</em>" and "<em>aahs</em>" every post anyway. There was never any <em>inkling</em> of interest in tossing out such a highly debatable topic for the purposes of... oh, I dunno... actually <em>debating</em> it. She's the Queen of her own sad tiny kingdom, and when she proclaimeth, be it hypocritical, self-contradictory, racist, or just plain uninformed, you either drink the Kool-Aid or GTFO. Don't even think of exposing the blatant ignorance of what's been said.<br /><br />So I'm done banging my head against that wall. But since I wanted a modicum of closure, I paid a visit to her blog. Until today I wasn't interested in her as a person, just as a cosplayer. After peeking behind that curtain, I can simultaneously say I should have trusted my instincts, but also my questions are pretty much answered. If Gloria Steinem (militant feminist) and Malcolm X (militant Negro) ever had a love child, it would be Jay Justice. More issues than <em>The Saturday Evening Post</em>. You can't scroll more than 10 lines without seeing lines like "<em>racist</em>" and "<em>sexist</em>". Women are always the victim. <em>Except</em> when Blacks are always the victim. <em><strong>Except</strong></em> JJ is a Black Woman (should that be "<em>womyn</em>"?), so she's two, <em>two</em>, <strong><em>two</em></strong> victims in one, possessed of an axe to grind with virtually anyone less tanned and/or more Y-chromosomed than herself. So unlike most people for whom a hobby like cosplay would represent a respite, or at least a departure, from real life, JJ seems to differentiate between life and cosplay only in the levels of makeup used: in both worlds she seemingly fancies herself a fantasy superhero, fighting a world of injustice. Perhaps a future cosplay prize might be <em>Google Glass</em>, so she can superimpose those old TV Batman splats that say <strong>POW! BIFF! SOCK! UGGH!</strong> over her daily existence as she vanquishes villain after villain (with her mighty "Delete" key!) in the never-ending battle within her mind.<br /><br />I'll leave you with the rest of the Facebook thread as of this writing. Someone else is daring to challenge the Queen in my stead, but either without sufficient supporting facts to risk rocking her boatload of opinion, or perhaps her "Delete" key is broken from overuse...<br />
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dani Monique G. </span></blockquote>
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It doesn't help that the Ilythiiri are looked at as the most evil, violent, untrustworthy of the elven race of the D&D world either...</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay </span></blockquote>
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It's a recurring theme in fiction actually, that dark = bad. But that's a whole other can of worms.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Ian K. </span></blockquote>
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it's not a can of worms at all with proper education.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay</span> </blockquote>
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I don't disagree, but I also don't have the time to moderate that conversation so it's not going down here, even if I have to delete this post to prevent it. No ma'am. Lol</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Ian K.</span> </blockquote>
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[...]Is that all we(lighter skinned people) are to you? Someone who's trying to offend you because of your color?</blockquote>
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<br /></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Jay Justice Cosplay </span></blockquote>
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Nowhere did I say that all white or lighter skinned people use blackface, are racist, or don't care about people of color. If you felt my comments were directed at you, and you are none of those things, then you are incorrect.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Ian K. </span></blockquote>
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That's fine, I was just asking. I know none of your comments are directed towards me I was just curious</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay</span> </blockquote>
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Did you legitimately believe that I hold such feelings toward all white people? Or are you trolling.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Ian K. </span></blockquote>
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It was just an honest question? I didn't assert that you were anything, i specifically asked you personally if you felt that way because I don't understand what the problem is.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay </span></blockquote>
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If you read all the comments here & still don't understand what the problem is, I don't think I can teach it to you. Unless you were planning to use blackface for some reason, I don't think you personally have anything to worry about.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Ian K. </span></blockquote>
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I did read all the comments. If you say its never okay to have fun without intending to hurt anyone, then the racists won. Imagine a world where the original blackface never happened. Maybe it would be okay to cosplay as a PoC.</blockquote>
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<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Jay Justice Cosplay </span></blockquote>
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Yes, if we could erase all the imperialism in the world, all of the oppression, and all of the bigotry, the history of slavery and Jim Crow laws--do you see what you're saying? These are all affecting the lives of Black people to this day. You can call it 'having fun' because it's fun for you, but for Black people it's hurtful. It's a privilege that you have, not having to be affected by things like this. If you can see past your privilege for a few minutes, and just try to think--what's more important here? Someone getting to 'have fun' for a day at the expense of an entire race of people, or not hurting anyone at all and actively being against racism, by not using blackface in the first place?</blockquote>
Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-20794688715224218532012-12-15T23:19:00.000+02:002013-05-15T00:36:10.115+03:00Stupid Does as Stupid IsWell, this proves it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My writing muse clearly springs from the dark side. If you want to read
about what's <b>bright, shiny and happy</b> in the world, that's the blog across the
street. The <i>really short</i> one, but I digress. If you want to read about what's <b>sad, stupid and unfair</b>, welcome to my pad. Pour yourself a stiff one and find a
comfy chair.<br />
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“<i>But wait,</i>” I sense your query. “<i>If your blog is about sad,
stupid and unfair, then how come it's been decades </i>(slight exaggeration) <i>since
your last post? You should have source material for 500 entries daily!</i>”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All true. <i>Too</i> true, in fact, which is why I've
been scarce. If I paid attention to every bit of misery I encounter, hell, even
if I simply gave it a <i>passing glance</i>, I'd probably spontaneously combust. Or go
into local politics. So I've kind of shrunk my range of contact with the world,
installing psychological blinders, defenses and other mechanisms which have
helped narrow my focus down to the parts of living with which I can still
reasonably cope. Which pretty much amounts to eating, sleeping, and Facebook. And
wouldn't you know, even <i>then</i> I'm not safe. Read on.</div>
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As part of my neural self-preservation, I don't follow the
news very much. I don't actively watch TV or read it online, for a few reasons.
If it's in Romanian, I simply (yes, still after all these years) don't
understand enough to get it. If it's American, I can't be bothered to filter
through the bias, sensationalism, misdirection, and “personalities” to get to
the important stuff. So, all but the biggest items come to my attention a bit... behind
the curve. Additionally - and this is important to what comes next – an event
that may be “big news” in its country of origin, may only be a <i>mention of
interest</i> elsewhere. For example: did you know that on Friday, 14 December 2012,
an armed man went on a rampage and attacked over 20 students at a grade school…
<b>in Henan, China</b>? Let the many levels of that news sink in for a moment. </div>
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Moving on. If you think that you can lock down your Facebook
experience to keep out the sad, stupid or unfair (or whatever ails you), think
again. I just have to share with you a recent exchange in which I got caught up,
as surreal as it was stupid… and ultimately, all too common. We open with a
photo and quip from my friend M., whom (as it frequently happens among the online
savvy) I've known for years without having actually met in person. Sadly, I now
know that the phrase “<i>any friend of yours is a friend of mine</i>” to be complete
and utter bullshit. What you need to know at the outset is that at the time I
made my reply, I am now certain I had not yet heard anything in detail about a
school shooting in Connecticut.</div>
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Now, in order to be my friend on Facebook, you need to be one of two things: a hot chick with high blood alcohol and low standards, or someone who shares my humor style. Since I've always been reasonably sure M. is the latter and not the former, I felt comfortable posting my response, and indeed he quickly gave it a Like. MAYBE, just maybe if I'd been more up on breaking news, I might not have posted it. But since I had been inspired by something so completely unrelated (a TV show), I still might have. </div>
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But I needn't have worried, for total strangers waited to sit in judgement and save me the concern.</div>
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You can quickly see how this escalates. You can probably also see that I made the grievous error of standing my ground, explaining my position rationally and factually, and worst of all... assuming I was addressing individuals of comparable motive and intellect, who were interested in hashing out what was really going on. I suppose my first clue should have been when the input descended to the last refuge of the out-argued; "<i>You're a dick.</i>" While that should have said to me, "<i>OK, I have nothing more of value to bring to this discussion, further effort on your part will be pointless</i>", I in fact did have some spare effort laying around for which I had no other immediate use. So, like a cat which can't resist continuing to bat around the flailing sparrow even when it's already clearly caught and dying...</div>
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This person quickly reminded me of what I might hate most about my fellow Americans: the <i>intractable, utter conviction</i> that their personal opinions are somehow <i>binding verdicts </i>upon me which I must accept and act on without question, and specifically how "offending them" is something I should make my <i>highest priority to avoid</i>, and <i>profusely apologize for</i> if I fail. That a total stranger is utterly convinced of his divine authority to exact a penalty from me for offending him, especially if unintentionally, is something around which I have <b><i>never </i></b>been able to wrap my mind.</div>
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At this point, I thought things were sputtering to a halt, or if they weren't, I was pretty much done anyway. I had led this horse to the water of reason and logic, but I couldn't make him drink. Calling me a "troll" was just another version (Internet-specific) of calling me a dick, so I knew I would derive no more satisfaction from exposing his ignorance. My "yee-haw" came from the fact that by now I'd looked up this rube's profile and seen that he lives in the American South, practically the historical home of argument for its own sake, but more relevant to the story, most geographically likely to be populated by educationally- and dentally-challenged inbreds who, among whatever else they do for entertainment, yell "yee-haw" a lot. Well, more than they probably do in, say, Vermont, I'd wager. Anyway, it was my attempt to bid farewell to my new friend on a level of communication closer to his. But <i>wouldn't you know it</i>...</div>
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It was apparently a tag team effort, with more of the same.</div>
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Well, not completely the same. I'd been promoted from "dick" to "pencil dick!" On the off chance that the original "dick" meant "toothpick dick", it was clearly a step up, size-wise, and I took the compliment, as well as new buddy Bruce's advice. I closed with a simple question, but seeing as how I used a lot of big words, I shouldn't have been so surprised when no reply came.</div>
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And finally, my friend M. declared the end of the adventure with exactly the type of flair that illustrates why we're friends. </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fquzimmeoNg/UMzmDeb0-CI/AAAAAAAAA44/PPuDBgROOPE/s1600/Soup08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fquzimmeoNg/UMzmDeb0-CI/AAAAAAAAA44/PPuDBgROOPE/s1600/Soup08.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Post-Game Analysis</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I've really tried in my life to adopt a "live and let live" philosophy. Granted, my reasons aren't as altruistic as you might think... it's more for my own medically-advised stress reduction than any desire to better relate to my fellow man. But either way, many things that used to bother me don't anymore. Stupid people are the best example. I can usually shrug them off nowadays. There are just so damn many out there, sheer numbers make any possibility of fighting the good fight laughable. So, as I said above, I set up ways to minimize my exposure to them and their effect on my life. For the most part it's working, as evidenced by my barren blog. Nope, to get on my radar, being stupid is no longer enough. I can even finally consider that it's probably not even their fault. There are so many institutions at all levels - education, media, business, government - actively working to <i>make</i> and <i>keep</i> them stupid that vanishingly few minds can resist them all. It doesn't even bother me anymore when stupid people actively approach me and impose their stupidity on me. This has not so much to do with self-discipline... I've just become numb to it from having it happen so often. But clearly a line still exists, as shown by these goobers' ability to cross it. And I think it is when stupid people <i>not only</i> actively approach me, <i>not only</i> slather me with the stink of their stupidity, but then have the <i>unmitigated gall</i> to consider <i>me</i> inferior because I didn't come around to their way of thinking. It's such a distorted, perverted view of the way things really are, that anyone with two brain cells to rub together will overwhelmingly, instinctively <i>need</i> to try and correct it. Thinkers abhor stupidity as Nature abhors a vacuum. I don't know if Nature finds her compulsion as futile as it is irresistible, the way I find mine. But it would certainly help if, every time I finally learn to stop banging my head against this particular wall, someone didn't always move the wall closer again.</div>
<br />Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-26704792808326696372011-11-18T17:56:00.001+02:002012-01-18T18:00:01.314+02:00Latest Display Tech FailYou know I collect these...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2_t6uAt4X3E/Txbrz8ZHSvI/AAAAAAAAA3I/caKXrULa09w/s1600/WinBotch+Ban01a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2_t6uAt4X3E/Txbrz8ZHSvI/AAAAAAAAA3I/caKXrULa09w/s320/WinBotch+Ban01a.jpg" width="257" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kiosk in Baneasa Mall</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4JiGHAvjQ4k/Txbr1H4VF5I/AAAAAAAAA3Q/5mxXPOReC3w/s1600/WinBotch+Ban01b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4JiGHAvjQ4k/Txbr1H4VF5I/AAAAAAAAA3Q/5mxXPOReC3w/s320/WinBotch+Ban01b.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Technically it doesn't appear to be Windows this time...</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zf34bEXFwv0/Txbr2dt4kyI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/912vPfO_7Xs/s1600/WinBotch+Predeal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zf34bEXFwv0/Txbr2dt4kyI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/912vPfO_7Xs/s320/WinBotch+Predeal.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On the highway somewhere around Predeal. Ish.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-68399995812910978992011-10-17T15:14:00.017+03:002012-01-17T21:33:31.925+02:00When Number One IS Number OneEvery so often in the flotsam and jetsam of the Internet, a particular survey bobs to the surface, being the <strong>top things women hate about men</strong>. Putting aside for now the concerns that such a list is, at best, subjective because most answers are likely - and even admittedly - different depending on where in the month a woman is asked (yes I went <em>THERE</em>), and that such a list of complaints could even be narrowed down to anything needing less than infinite pixels to display, the majority of answers seem to do with hygiene, most often body hair or nail trimmings, most often being found off its body of origin, most often in the sink. But even beyond this most egregious and malevolent ...er, <em>function of nature</em> (do you beat Fido or Fluffy for shedding? <em>Noooo</em>, just Mister), is the consistent top Number One answer: <strong><em>leaving the toilet seat up</em></strong>.<br />
<br />
Surprisingly, I got nothin' for this one. I quite agree that it's not our best feature. Mostly because it seems permanently partnered with lousy aim. Men place tremendous value, to the extent of lifelong training, on their ability to throw, bat, kick or putt various small objects into equally small places with nanometric precision. And these same men can't aim their own built-in equipment with a fraction of that accuracy. Maybe toilets need points-tickets dispensers like skee-ball machines. Collect enough points via good aim, and redeem them for dinner.<br />
<br />
I can joke about all this because I rarely pee standing into a regular toilet. Not only is my aim NOT better for having avoided all that nasty sports training in my youth, but because of my height, there is about an extra meter between me and the bowl. Thus, after the stream in question has left me but before it hits the porcelain pool, the rotation of the Earth has swung the toilet sufficiently eastward to throw off my aim even further.<br />
<br />
So, cry the multitude, this leaves the basic question as unanswered as it is eternal: <strong><em>why do men do it?</em></strong><br />
<br />
I believe I have the answer.<br />
<br />
At the very least, I have AN answer. And there's nothing theoretical, hypothetical or even far-fetched about it. I LIVE it and I'm sure I'm not alone. And what's most stunning? The deviously sinister evil genius behind this motivation for men to pee standing may lie with none other than WOMEN, possibly the very same ones who bemoan men who pee standing! And I now expose this travesty for posterity and the vindication of masculinity for generations to come.<br />
<br />
Let's cut to the chase: we're talking about <em>toilet fresheners</em>. Whether they're dropped in, stuck on, hung or sprayed, a universal truth is that no man worth his gender would buy one, much less install one. These devices are right up there with potpourri and lace doilies as items which only females would deem necessary in a domicile. A man could be set on fire before admitting to the possible point of furniture, or forks, let alone items of higher bodily function. Guaranteed, the only time a man encounters a toilet freshener is if his significant other put it there. <br />
<br />
This in and of itself is not so horrible. Any attempt to make us males smell better is laudable, if usually doomed to fail. Certainly, as any midsummer city bus ride will attest, men are quite unable to odorproof themselves, so the ladies might as well take a whack at it. But to introduce a solution that only SEEMS like a solution, but in reality only perpetuates the problem, takes a level of shrewd craftiness that no mere male intellect could brew up. THIS:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-89TQyl3JwFc/TxV0x7jTprI/AAAAAAAAA2U/AzwveiYWWTU/s1600/Toilet-Woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-89TQyl3JwFc/TxV0x7jTprI/AAAAAAAAA2U/AzwveiYWWTU/s320/Toilet-Woman.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
...could only come from the mind of a woman. An evil woman at that. And before you wags ask me if there's any other kind, let's just stick to the facts. This toilet freshener releases a dark blue dye with every flush. You can't hang it on the sides of the bowl, as it won't extend down to the water stream. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-coqC--LajHA/TxV0zwKqM1I/AAAAAAAAA2c/PXh-PhFVD1s/s1600/Toilet-Side.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-coqC--LajHA/TxV0zwKqM1I/AAAAAAAAA2c/PXh-PhFVD1s/s320/Toilet-Side.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
Nope, it only works front and center. Perfectly out of the way when a woman sits down. This is a good thing, as this is usually their only option. Now, on the other hand, your average male has some dangly bits that would line up just about exactly with this blue dye-soaking device if he sits down. Did I say "would"? Well, I meant to say "damn well surely do"! To be fair, I'm not talking about my normal home situation (and yes, the oxymoron is not lost on me). The photos above depict what awaited me at an otherwise splendid hotel during a recent weekend trip. But because I don't usually expect sabotage in my commodial consultations, I parked myself as I always do. So, when I got up, ...well, I can't be overly explicit, but here is a reasonable visual representation of my subsequent status:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N7XYeIJwh90/TxV02GWmmtI/AAAAAAAAA2k/p-Na-Unv91s/s1600/Blu+Tip+Cok.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N7XYeIJwh90/TxV02GWmmtI/AAAAAAAAA2k/p-Na-Unv91s/s320/Blu+Tip+Cok.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Admittedly, I may have, once or twice in my younger days, suffered from the condition known as "blue balls", but in this case, as the internet memes say, "UR DOIN IT WRONG". And did I mention that this cerulean crap doesn't wash off right away? Noooo! So, I ask you, which gender stands more to lose by inventing such a savagely subversive atrocity? Or, better put, which gender would derive infinitely more secretly evil glee from it, passively-aggressively ensuring that their number-one complaint about men will remain ever-unsolved and therefore fertile bitching ground? <br />
<br />
Yeah, I thought so. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>So, even as a reasonably considerate and enlightened example of the species, if I am to be faced with the choice of risking the recrimination of a vertical-stance aqueous dispensation, or to tote a turquoise-tipped tallywhacker for a week, then of course that lid is going up and the cards (and everything else) will fall where they may. Me personally, I'll probably remember to put it down again when I'm done, but I obviously can't promise the rest of my gender to follow suit. Which guarantees our collective place at the top of the survey for the foreseeable future. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m5QVknLL6IM/TxV1bh1LFeI/AAAAAAAAA20/RdCXR1jwYXw/s1600/Toilet-Man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m5QVknLL6IM/TxV1bh1LFeI/AAAAAAAAA20/RdCXR1jwYXw/s320/Toilet-Man.jpg" width="234" /></a></div><br />
Maybe I can learn to clip my nails in the sink instead.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-43766964937790690072011-08-24T18:29:00.003+03:002011-08-24T18:33:03.179+03:00Copyright Crusade ContinuesThe most-addressed subject in this blog? Surprisingly, not bad drivers, parkers, or license-tag forgers. Less surprisingly, neither the pitiable details of my futile personal life. Nope, by my count, it's <em>copyright infringement</em>... my personal pet peeve, one that <strong><em>really</em></strong> should have been considered in my original decision to move to Romania so long* ago. As a graphic designer, each instance I encounter is like fingernails against the chalkboard of my creative palette. While it's true I've encountered fewer examples as I go on, it's mainly because I've stopped looking for them. But odds dictate that sooner or later, an egregious example will come to <em>me</em>. And so it has, in the form of a <em>FaceBook</em> ad.<br />
<br />
So there I was, minding my own business on Facebook, doing any old thing <strong><em>except</em></strong> flirting with young women of course, when the page refreshed and changed, as it does, the string of ads running down the right side of the page. Against all odds (and self-training), one caught my eye by making me wonder "<em>hm, what's my bank doing in Romania?</em>" You see, Facebook targets its ads geographically among other factors, so I'm used to ads about Romanian businesses, which are blissfully easy to ignore with my limited grasp of the language. But this time it was the graphics, not the words, that jumped out at me, combined with the unexpectedness of seeing them apparently involved with Romania. <br />
<br />
So let's cut to the chase. The ad turned out to be for a particularly lame cellphone retailer, or perhaps broker, as they provide no contact details whatsoever and just generally give every impression they don't want you to find out who or where they are. But here is their page:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lWXeutmse2g/TlUV7QKKZoI/AAAAAAAAA1s/Dp-ZYAMNAzo/s1600/Pret+Tel+01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" qaa="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lWXeutmse2g/TlUV7QKKZoI/AAAAAAAAA1s/Dp-ZYAMNAzo/s320/Pret+Tel+01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>and here is my bank:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4OWxLxaWxlo/TlUV8IBNiRI/AAAAAAAAA1w/KllKpRBWT4U/s1600/BoA+Logo+01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" qaa="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4OWxLxaWxlo/TlUV8IBNiRI/AAAAAAAAA1w/KllKpRBWT4U/s320/BoA+Logo+01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>You see what they did there?<br />
<br />
One could argue that the graphic is so simple that odds are many artists could come up with it. But what are the odds they'd also replicate the same gentle curve and the same changed color portion? But of course, flipping it mirror-style and adding nifty 3-D effects makes it all original, dunnit? Oh, I give up. About the only take-aways from this entry will be: 1. I have, with deep shame, provided highly-regrettable evidence that Facebook ads do occasionally work... expect a new onslaught any time now, and 2. I've revealed my account is at Bank of America, narrowing the parameters for the horde of hackers eager to relieve me of my personal fortune. You know what? For the average $30.00 in my account, knock yourselves out, kids.<br />
<br />
*long, <strong>long, <em>LONG</em></strong>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-44631205147073056582011-08-17T15:14:00.001+03:002011-08-18T11:32:40.414+03:00Curent EventsToday's rant is one of those things that got put on my "to-do" list ages ago, and only seemed to come again to the forefront when I was least able to sit and type about it. So back on the shelf it would go, nestled against other permanently postponed items of my mental itinerary such as success and wealth. But today the happy coincidence occurred, and the subject came up at an office where I am well-equipped to type about things. <br />
<br />
<div></div>I don't spend lots of time at this office, but when I do I like to breathe air not so choked with days of second-hand cigarette smoke from the staff or skin-dissolving chemicals from the cleaning crew. So I open the window when I can, common sense permitting of course. During a January blizzard, I probably wouldn't. But today was a typical Bucharest summer day, meaning the air outside was already 30 degress C and climbing. But it was also a good deal fresher than the air in the office, and when you consider the former is metropolitan Bucharest city air, you get an idea of just how bad the latter must have been. So, as I said, I opened my window. Immediately, the chap across the hall jumped up from his seat and apologetically closed his door, explaining that I had created "curent." And thus we come to one of the few remaining (of an admittedly shrinking list but I think this one will stay forever) phenomena of the culture that consistently blow my mind (pun, of course, intended). The Eastern European mortal fear of the breeze.<br />
<br />
<div></div>This concept has already been surprisingly well-documented in several other blogs and forums, so as usual I'll cut corners and just quote them:<br />
<br />
<div></div><ul><li><a href="http://we.md/threads/curentul.9263/"><em>(Roughly translated) "Curent" = movement of air between two or more points (such as 2 or more open windows in an apartment) or simply from one strong point (open windows of the moving train/car). "Curent" is probably one of the greatest Romanian national obsessions. Whatever the historical province you are, if you go by train, it is quite possible that your neighbors in the compartment prefer to endure 50 degrees Celsius + onion odors than to open a window. Similarly for cars without air conditioning, nobody opens the window because you'll "catch the 'curent.'" Same at home. Windows stay closed so that they do not form "curent". And often when you have a headache or toothache, so often the explanation is automatic, "probably because you "took the 'curent.'"</em></a> </li>
</ul><div></div></a><br />
<ul><li><em><a href="http://www.bucharestlife.net/2011/01/24/by-popular-demand-curent/">Wait until high summer, until the temperature is around 45 degrees, and then board a train. Wait until it reaches full speed [...], then open a window and see what happens. You will be set upon by everyone else in the carriage, who will shout at you for [...] attempting to kill them. Basically, any kind of moving air (known of course to perfectly sane people as ‘a nice breeze’) should be considered curent and therefore lethal. </a></em></li>
</ul><br />
<div></div><ul><li><em><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?page=3&term=romania">Romanians are also afraid of having any two windows open which might cause a draft ("curent") which they say causes death and other illnesses. Romanians would rather die than be exposed to the curent.</a></em></li>
</ul><br />
<div></div><ul><li><em><a href="http://norkinromania.blogspot.com/2007/08/you-know-youre-in-romania-when.html">They believe it causes illness, tooth aches or ear aches. You'll often see people walking about town with cotton stuffed in their ears to prevent the 'curent' from entering (sometimes they use garlic). While riding on trains or in cars, it's often seen as a bad thing to have the windows open. For many people, it's preferable to sweat in the uncomfortable heat than get an ear ache.</a></em></li>
</ul><br />
<div></div><ul><li><em><a href="http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/p/m/17569c/">It was late august, temperatures over 40 Celsius and everything to the leaves in the trees was completely motionless. I opened the window of the room I was staying in, hoping some air would enter the room and refresh me a little. In less than a minute, my friend’s mother rushed from the other side of the apartment: “CURENT, please close the window!” CURENT, or the draught that circulates when two windows are open, is blamed for almost every ill one can think of. Toothache, headache, cold, flu, meningitis, paralysis - all are apparently the result of moving air. </a></em></li>
</ul>I'd be remiss if I didn't mention, among my personal experiences, my Romanian acquaintance who swore that the frequent earthquakes in the Vrancea area were caused by high winds, and gusty days would find this individual waiting seriously and anxiously for the inevitable tremor to follow.<br />
<br />
<div></div><div></div>Granted, views on breezes are universal between East and West up to a certain degree, literally. Opening a window in winter is usually silly. Freezing air, while not carrying pathogens itself, does distract your body's resistance to them and thus the link between cold air and sickness is perceived. But in mid-summer? Common sense and Eastern Europe clearly go on separate holidays. To consider hazardous a calm breeze containing air of 35 degrees C is not only incredible, but irresponsible, particularly when the preferred alternative is to sweat profusely at your desk, risking heat fatigue or at least true sickness from breathing in the same cigarette-smoked air that just came out of someone else's lungs along with who knows what else. <br />
<br />
<div></div><div></div>And this last bit may seem like a cheap shot until you've experienced it first-hand: <a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/dailyevents/41-dailyevents/21504-survey-two-toothpaste-tubes-four-bars-of-soap-and-one-deodorant-thats-how-much-romanians-use-in-a-year">As reported in The Bucharest Herald in April</a>, a Romanian consumes an average of only two tubes of toothpaste and four bars of soap per year. Virtually all the Romanians I know seem (smell?) to be well above that average, which means for the average to be what it is, others need to operate well below it. A short trip on any Bucharest public transit will instantly reveal their whereabouts. And if that's <em>not</em> an argument in favor of opening a window, <em>especially</em> in warm weather, then I truly don't understand it.<br />
<br />
EDIT: Just thought of this last bit, which is almost certainly a cheap shot but funny nevertheless. If Romania is so intolerant of hot wind, then how do you explain Parliament? Har har har.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-15238321873288856432011-03-30T14:48:00.001+03:002011-03-30T14:58:27.442+03:00A Study in Modern ExorcismA bit ago, Romania made world news in an amusing-but-sad way (any other kind?) by deciding to start taxing witches on their income. Initially, witches responded by attempting to curse Romania's top politicos (by throwing poo in the Danube, as I recall), but this faded quickly as these old dears realized they couldn't compete. Not only were Romania's top politicos already cursed so much that they had plenty to spare which they were only too happy to pass onto the rest of us, which they did, daily, several times a day if possible, but witches were also rank amateurs in terms of experience in polluting the Danube. So, Plan B was simply to state in interviews that their incomes were so small, tax made no difference. But this got me wondering: Romania is still so deeply rooted in superstition and mysticism, why aren't witches in Fat City, ala Rasputin? This morning I got my answer in the (as usual) least likely of places: the back end of a taxi.<br />
<br />
Now, growing up around Manhattan, I knew that one often finds life's answers from taxicabs, sometimes because of really pithy bumperstickers, but mostly because the near-death experience that is a typical NYC cab ride just puts you that much closer to God. But this morning, my taxi-related revelation was as subtle as it was sublime.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lmg8OxFqaaU/TZMVCP7wdII/AAAAAAAAA00/OvsNJVm0aNQ/s1600/Pyugeot1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" r6="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lmg8OxFqaaU/TZMVCP7wdII/AAAAAAAAA00/OvsNJVm0aNQ/s200/Pyugeot1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I dunno about elsewhere, but Romanian taxis aren't painted yellow. They're rather covered in yellow adhesive vinyl. This probably facilitates selling the car once it's usefulness as a taxi is done (but who would buy a car too beat up to even be a taxi any more?). Equally possible, it allows a cab driver who has been so surpassingly reckless and/or (emphasis on "and") offensive to finally bring down the threat of imminent death upon himself, to scamper into the nearest tunnel, forest, or other deserted area such as the "Romania Anti-Corruption" office, and with a hasty peeling session (think "Johnny Dangerously" Shelf Paper), slink back past their pursuers in a normal-colored car. But I digress.<br />
<br />
In most cases I've seen, when it comes to the raised make and model logos on the car, the vinyl-appliers cut a hole in the yellow plastic for them to show through. This is a crude-enough look in itself, but as I now know, quite the lesser of two evils. This morning's cab had had the individual letters of "PEUGEOT 207" pried off the painted surface (leaving what damage? I'd rather not know) and then stuck back on top of the vinyl. And this was my revelation at the red light.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SrgXnATKexs/TZMVF-ugb1I/AAAAAAAAA08/ABzqxCyHd5c/s1600/Pyugeot3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" r6="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SrgXnATKexs/TZMVF-ugb1I/AAAAAAAAA08/ABzqxCyHd5c/s200/Pyugeot3.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>My graphic-artist eye instinctively knew something was wrong in the scene, like hearing one voice off-key in a choir. Eventually it focused on the taxi, and the bile rose in my throat like a tsun - no, too soon - it just rose, ok? The letters had been reattached with all the care and accuracy of a toddler's magnetic refrigerator alphabet. <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sUOcKDyppzU/TZMVEP5RdWI/AAAAAAAAA04/G4Yw042zPbA/s1600/Pyugeot2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" r6="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sUOcKDyppzU/TZMVEP5RdWI/AAAAAAAAA04/G4Yw042zPbA/s200/Pyugeot2.jpg" width="200" /></a>Part of me still insists that it's been done so incredibly badly that it had to be deliberate. But I've thought that before about work done in this town which obviously couldn't be so - from street repair (both instances), to bathroom tile installation, to building a shopping mall, you name it. Any and every job you can point to in Bucharest, and probably beyond, of any size, is invariably completed to about 90% and then abandoned. Or as they say around here, "finished." Attention to detail is non-existent to the point of being a negative value. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">And THIS is why witches are out of work.</div><br />
The key is the well-known and proven proverb: <strong><em>The Devil is In the Details.</em></strong><br />
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If you don't bother with any details, in any job, <em>ever</em>, then you have no Devil. The good witches have nothing to fight, and the bad witches have no source of power. And there it is. Contemporary Romanian workmanship is not criminally shoddy by accident or laziness, but by the realization that foregoing any details in your work is key to protecting your soul. To insist of a Carpathian craftsman that an edge be straight, a corner be 90 degrees, paint be at least one coat, a door meet its frame, or water spring from the tap instead of the wall, is to insist he risk eternal damnation in the hereafter.<br />
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Many cultures still suffer civil turmoil caused by their inability to reconcile modern society with ancient superstition. We've got it beat here, for sure! Most Romanians still harbor a reasonable concern for the fate of their souls, and know that periodic sacrifice to their god helps ensure it. Self-denial, pilgrimage and slicing open farm animals are so last century. Today, if you can manage to avoid the surfaces of any door, window, or flooring from fitting properly, or keep any straight edge or corner from any measurement ending in a zero, or reassemble something in nothing approaching its original completeness, preferably "how many pieces broken/missing" in proportion to "how much you were paid to fix it," then your place in Heaven is all but assured.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-37864005845327403182011-03-15T15:43:00.000+02:002011-03-15T15:43:53.051+02:00More Pedantic Fun with Language...Or, "How to Reduce A Poor Innocent Waitress to Tears."<br />
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You see, the Cheese Soup (supa de branza) is made from cheese. The Bean Soup (legume) is made from beans. The Onion (ceapa) from onions. The Broccoli, from broccoli.<br />
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All I did was ask what the German Soup is made from...<br />
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I won’t reiterate the specifics of the Japan quake and tsunami, you can find complete coverage on any news channel. It is what you will <em><strong>also </strong></em>find that compels today's rant. Specifically, the news coverage of the damage to several of Japan’s nuclear power plants. More specifically, the apparent inability of an alarming number of newscasters to properly pronounce “<em>nuclear</em>.”<br />
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If, now that you know what I’m on about, are not willing to read all the way through: just promise to say “<em>nu-clear</em>” instead of “<em>noo-kyu-lar</em>” and you may be excused from the table.<br />
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I’ve given up expecting the USA to say it right, because of its educational paradigm since the late ‘80s: “<strong>it’s more important to feel good than to know the right answer.</strong>” Learning by repetition and giving failing grades were eliminated because “self-esteem” was deemed more important to our nation's youth than actually being correct. The country is now run by the first results of this “discipline;” a generation of functional illiterates awash in their own sense of entitlement, but which can’t spell the word “<em>entitlement</em>.” For proof you need look no further than the functional (?) illiterate who ran the country for two terms, my pal Dubya. And therein lies the problem. The man mangled the simplest English on a daily basis, so who could be bothered to notice “<em>nookyular</em>” among his avalanche of other mispronunciations and malapropisms? It just didn’t stand out. Clinton did it also, but, I’m forced to admit, he was as hilbilly as they come so again, folks tended to let it slide. Carter? Georgia. I’m just sayin’. I’m told Eisenhower, another Texan, mispronounced it as well, but he’s before my time, and before Eisenhower’s time everyone just said “<em>atomic</em>” which doesn’t take a rocket scientist to say correctly. Apparently “<em>nuclear</em>” does. In fact, I believe we’ve just uncovered a presidentially-supported correlation between saying “<em>nookyular</em>” and saying “<em>y’all</em>.” <br />
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And of course, for the past few days and probably many more ahead, you won’t be able to swing a cat without hitting the word “<em>nuclear</em>.” The only worthwhile English-language news channel I get, Euronews, is saying it an average of twice per minute, which is not surprising. What <em><strong>is</strong></em> surprising is to hear this pinnacle-of-proper-broadcast-English say the word wrong just like us peasant Yanks. Unlike Bubba or Dubya, to hear a prim and proper clipped British accent say “<em>nookyular</em>” is one big fingernail scratching one big chalkboard to anyone with sense and care for the language. Which is what I would expect Euronews to have. <br />
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Cunning linguists explain this away as “metathesis,” the switching of two adjacent sounds. They example I saw is “<em>iron</em>,” which almost everybody pronounces as “i-urn.” But this is pretty weak because the two pronunciations differ via vowel, not hard consonant, sounds. These can be, and often are, mutated simply by dialect. “<em>Pennsylvania Dutch</em>” is actually “<em>Pennsylvania Deutsch</em>” - people from Germany, not Netherlands. Speaking of Dutch, their “<em>Sinter Klaas</em>” became our “<em>Santa Claus</em>.” In these examples, it’s only vowel sounds that are changed. Nowhere have the discrete hard consonants been rearranged, as they have between “<em>nuclear</em>” and “<em>nucular</em>.” And in any case, this mangling has nothing to do with exotic dialects of foreign languages, it’s simply <strong>English speakers unable to speak English</strong>.<br />
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You see, this particular word is, for better or worse, a make-or-break of perceived intelligence. Say it right and people will wonder if you’ve ever written a book. Say it wrong and they’ll wonder if you’ve ever read one. As presidential linguistics indicate above, “<em>nookyular</em>” equals “<em>redneck</em>.” If that’s the image you want to project, that’s your call. I wouldn’t have thought it was the choice of the Brits, though, and certainly not of their top news presenters. But between them, US presidents, and who knows who else in “authority,” I’m reminded of the Lenin/Goebbels quote, “a lie repeated often enough becomes the truth.” It would be very sad if enough "authoritative" people say a word wrongly often enough that we come to believe it to be the right way.<br />
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<strong><u>UPDATE</u></strong><br />
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About an hour before I posted this, I visited Euronews' website and made a plea on their "Feedback" page about this. It's a moderated page so I'm not surprised that my comment wasn't released to the viewable stream of posts. However, I just checked Euronews while I was having lunch and in their repeated-hourly report entitled "Japan Fears," ONLY the two 10-second-long segments with announcers who said "nucular" have been removed. Coincidence? Maybe...Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-7882176794690985692011-03-09T17:12:00.001+02:002011-05-05T17:16:11.713+03:00Asshole Parker of the Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xvfDhcpM7Qk/TcKwTC0QlaI/AAAAAAAAA1E/Hz8AXAeYCPY/s1600/Bad+Park+09032011645.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" j8="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xvfDhcpM7Qk/TcKwTC0QlaI/AAAAAAAAA1E/Hz8AXAeYCPY/s400/Bad+Park+09032011645.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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It's not often that someone parks badly enough to block TWO directions of traffic, but here's genius for you. Lanes on both sides of the divider have to swerve. All I can hope for is that he/she really scraped up the underside of their car getting on and/or off of the island.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-13568244336741565332011-03-08T16:58:00.009+02:002011-05-05T17:11:57.687+03:00Asshole Driver of the Day <div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XlCDzGy2dwg/TcKtLLXR1YI/AAAAAAAAA1A/EGSBYGFOIzo/s1600/No+Brake+Lights+08032011641.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" j8="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XlCDzGy2dwg/TcKtLLXR1YI/AAAAAAAAA1A/EGSBYGFOIzo/s400/No+Brake+Lights+08032011641.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <em><strong>No. Brake lights. Whatsoever. </strong></em><br />
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There are two cars in my daily sphere of reference, and they both have some way of telling you when a lamp is dead. One car does it by a fancy console screen message, which, OK, I can see where all cars wouldn't have that. But the other car tells you a bulb is out simply by doubling the rate at which the turn signal blinks. Dead simple. But obviously some people are even more simple. Or has the irony not yet hit you that the defective vehicle in question is not only a company car for a <em>security company</em> (feel secure now, do you?), but it's their <em>Technical Service</em> response van. What kind of technical service can we expect from someone who can't change a light bulb, let alone <em>three</em> (both tail lights <em>and</em> center stop light)? <br />
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And as always, this photo adheres to my 10:1 ratio. For every one of these dorks I manage to catch in a photo, there are about ten more that go by without my getting the chance. So be careful who you tailgate!Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-24978776159468562532011-03-07T18:59:00.000+02:002011-03-07T18:59:10.483+02:00Charlie Sheen? Amateur.The question is not <em>if</em> some public figures are out of touch with reality. No-brainer. Sometimes it seems to be a job requirement. The only question is the <em>style</em> in which a particular individual disconnects. There's "entertaining" crazy, like Gary Busey and Charlie Sheen, who make you want to laugh, if a bit nervously. There's "dangerous" crazy, like Mel Gibson and Dubya, who make you want to run away or move to Romania, respectively. And then there's "offensive" crazy, thankfully a much rarer variety, but apparently personified in a local yokel named Ion Tiriac. And that makes you want to (insert excrutiatingly diplomatic restraint) slap the guy upside the head for further proving (as if needed) how jerks get rich while decent people remain broke writing angry blogs.<br />
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First, I'll preface this rant by admitting that while many of my diatribes are reasonably researched and referenced, this isn't one of them. This is me reading the Romanian news, where this guy is reverently quoted from TV as if he were the Voice of God, and thinking "OMG WTF?" because I'd just previously read stuff that, with the tiniest mental leap, exposes some serious stupidity and hypocrisy. This time, I'm just calling it as I see it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3GEYoMsjotU/TXUNn5qNLvI/AAAAAAAAA0k/rUalLxxugB4/s1600/tiriac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" q6="true" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3GEYoMsjotU/TXUNn5qNLvI/AAAAAAAAA0k/rUalLxxugB4/s200/tiriac.jpg" width="167" /></a></div>So, here's my take on Tiriac. Described as a "former tennis star turned businessman," I don't know what that's supposed to explain. Romania's <em><a href="http://www.atpworldtour.com/Tennis/Players/Na/I/Ilie-Nastase.aspx">other</a></em> former tennis star also turned businessman, actually more politician, so maybe it's an injury inherent to the sport. Like "Tennis Elbow," except here you get "Tennis Megalomania" <em>"...Yes, I used to bounce some little furry balls around, so I'm qualified to run a company, perhaps the country. Oh, and I also used to play tennis."</em> The only problem with this theory is that US former tennis stars generally know their place, sticking mainly to endorsing painkillers and breakfast cereals. Okay, in the case of Kellogg's Honey Smacks maybe it's the same thing, but still, it's a far cry from endorsing an <a href="http://www.romaniatourism.com/people.html">entire country</a>.<br />
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So, here I am reading the local news, which admittedly is not guaranteed to be as objective and accurate as, oh, say <a href="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/home/10-most-ridiculous-fox-news-lies-creative-edits-and-half-truths">Fox News</a>, but still, the hot topic is Tiriac's Tirade on a TV show. Clearly the financial power players hang on his every word, of which some were (translated) as follows: <br />
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<a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/economics/40-economics/20334-tiriac-where-did-half-a-trillion-go-in-the-last-20-years-nobody-knows-where-the-money-went"><em>"Please tell me where half a trillion, 500 billion went, to mention only part of the GDP of the last 20 years. I should see this money somewhere. Where is it? I don't know."</em></a><br />
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At first glance, it seems a legitimate concern of a respectable businessman. Except two months ago, the same news site ran this story:<br />
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<a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/star-gossip/42-star-gossip/18888-ion-tiriac-got-burnt-by-his-son-with-6000000-euros"><em>"Ion Tiriac was up to a most unpleasant surprise at the end of 2010, when a private investigation proved him that his son took almost 6 million Euros from the accounts of his companies."</em></a><br />
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So, Ion may not know where 500 billion Euros went, but he can find 6 million of it in his criminal son's pockets. Earlier news had the little angel <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/07/31/billionaire-bad-heirs-paris-hilton-smith-business-billionaires-wealth_slide_5.html">arrested for drugs</a>, and then, as now, Daddy's solution was to dodge the press, and oh yes, the law too for that matter, and settle it "privately as a family matter," undoubtedly meaning a stern lecture to Junior on not doing such stupendously stupid things... like getting caught. The son is obviously a bad apple, and they say apples don't fall far from the tree. But I digress. The moral of this story should be "people in glass houses" or "the mote in your brother's eye" or any number of hypocrisy proverbs, but instead it seems to be "If I call enough attention to others' ineptitude, maybe nobody will notice my own." A classic Communist tactic, I'm told by the way.<br />
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So, moving on to the next gem: In the same TV show (titled "<em>After 20 Years</em>" ...of what, they didn't say) Ion is flabbergasted that Romanians aren't taking advantage of the depressed housing costs and snapping up flats left and right. The small fact that all Romanians aren't billionaire former tennis stars turned businessmen with boatloads of dubiously-acquired cash for collecting flats as if they were comic books shouldn't stand in the way of this noble vision. 99% of the population isn't equipped for an increase in petrol prices, let alone the speculation business. Ion's answer? Mosey on down to your local bank, which is apparently dying to give loans. At what interest rate, I wonder, and with the average Romanian owning little more than a Dacia and a few potted plants, for what collateral? But never mind all this... the winning quote here was: <em><a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/residential/35-real-estate/20335-tiriac-real-estate-market-will-recover-with-banks-involvement-new-lodging-prices-will-not-drop-further">"in Romania, there is a deficit of two million apartments."</a></em><br />
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Anyone with even the merest hint of the housing situation in Romania, would have their bullshit detectors explode at this one. But don't take my word for it, a survey by Ziarul Financiar revealed that in three newly-constructed complexes in Bucharest offering almost 1200 flats, <a href="http://www.zf.ro/proprietati/doamna-ghica-plaza-70-de-familii-in-616-apartamente-7987859/poze/?p=2">80 percent remain uninhabited</a>. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-P2tYGXf6Kgo/TXUN-DfhAYI/AAAAAAAAA0o/jn1DjhjUeTI/s1600/ghica.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="105" q6="true" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-P2tYGXf6Kgo/TXUN-DfhAYI/AAAAAAAAA0o/jn1DjhjUeTI/s200/ghica.gif" width="200" /></a></div>Multiply that by at least 3 other such complexes in town that I personally know of, and how many more I don't, and also by the half-built complexes that may or may not even be completed for lack of demand (Planorama anyone?), and my very rough count indicates about 5000 brand new flats in Bucharest standing empty, right now. Now, in Romanian "<em>nou</em>" means "<em>new</em>" and "<em>nu</em>" means "<em>no</em>" (you have to say it out loud to appreciate it), but I'm pretty sure that "<em>deficit</em>" doesn't mean "<em>surplus</em>." What I am becoming sure of, is that the large deficit Tiriac speaks of may be between the ears. The absence of logic in his "advice" and the disconnect with his intended audience are insulting to the intelligence and, to say the very least, slap-worthy. And yet this is Romania's financial golden boy, the success story, the role model, <a href="http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/when_e_f_hutton_talks_people_listen_e_f_hutton/">E.F. Hutton</a> the Carpathian.<br />
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Come to think of it, he didn't get there by himself did he? So who deserves the slap more, him or the sheep who empower him by worshipping at his feet? All of it is crazy, and most definitely the insulting kind. <br />
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I'll choose Charlie and his tiger blood any day.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-8662546030293889192011-02-22T13:47:00.000+02:002011-02-22T13:47:32.061+02:00It All Started With A Leaf...(NOTE: hyperlinks and other embellishments coming soon. I just wanted to get this poor languishing mess out there before it got any older.)<br />
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No, this is not a documentary about marijuana addiction. That would probably be more entertaining than what you've got here. Certainly more educational, no question. I don't purport to write anything here with the intent to educate, and in reviewing the fine print, it appears I don't even promise to be entertaining. Not that neither of those things never happen here, to be sure (work your way through THAT string of negatives!), but it's almost always by accident. Maybe some find me entertaining because the things that happen to me are usually the type that are always funny when they happen to someone else, and so by definition you should be amused. Perhaps I'm educational in that people learn how to reach success by watching me and doing the opposite. Whatever, it's all bonus. By and large, this blog is only about things I observe and find to be excessively absurd and worth exposing as such. My quixotic hope is that shining the light of reason onto idiots may compel them to rethink their stupidity, or failing that, at least to shrivel and burn like an ant under a magnifying lens. <br />
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What I have concluded is that the term "quixotic" could not have been better chosen. What I call "attempting to fight stupidity," pretty much everyone else calls "banging your head against a wall." Ineffective to the point of being pointless.<br />
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Case in point, as it were: as a graphic artist, I notice when a design is pinched from somewhere else. In Romania, this is rampant, especially with logos. I've pointed out incidents of blantant copyright theft on local, regional, and even national levels. Has my ranting had any effect? Definitely, if you believe someone took it as a challenge to go even more criminal. Hence, Romania now proudly flaunts its penchant for artistic fraud at the international level. <br />
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Its latest tourist campaign sports a leaf design which was revealed to be freely-available clip art already in use by several other companies around the world. On one hand, Romania technically isn't the thief in this case because a third-party PR agency created the logo, and the leaf clipart can be purchased for use by anyone. But on the other hand, the agency was paid nearly 100,000 Euro to produce an original custom design. The PR agency claims that by altering the leaf's shade of green, it's now custom. The sound of rolling eyes was deafening.<br />
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I'm not going into any more details of this as I had originally planned, for two reasons. First, this is now old news from last autumn and has been covered with far more detail and objectivity elsewhere on the Net, and can be found with a simple search. Second, by virtue of it being old news from last autumn, the hindsight and retrospect afforded by this has revealed the truth of the matter: nobody cares. There was the usual media fun for a week or so while everyone involved blamed everyone else, but then it faded into the background noise, eventually replaced by news of the new tax on witches. Was anyone held accountable for this farce? Was anyone penalized? Even reprimanded? Damned if I know, or can find out. The country simply shrugged its collective shoulders and went back to really important things, like the cost of cigarettes and who took their parking spot. And Romania continues to present itself to the world with a purloined leaf. And everyone's just fine with that. So it goes.<br />
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And with that, I give up.<br />
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It seems cautionary tales just don't have the value they used to, faded instead into worthless, if mildly curious, anachronisms like 8-track tapes and phlebotomy. I still believed that there were certain times when advice was preferable to experience. Not all the time, of course... admittedly most things are better assimilated into our learned response because we go through them ourselves. Especially pleasant things... would you rather take someone's word that the cake is delicious, or try it yourself? No-brainer. But now consider the live wire dangling from the utility pole. If someone tells you it's best not to touch it, perhaps the words should be good enough.<br />
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The relevance of all this is as follows: how a country is viewed by the rest of the world is mostly, if not entirely, up to that country. The remarkable thing about this is that said international perception is quite often the result of the efforts of a very few people, if not one person altogether. Germany in the 1930s is one example, of course, but my native USA is a more contemporary and relevant example. I grew up reasonably proud of my country. For the most part, the world saw the US as a "benevolent superpower," mighty and prosperous and largely fair in its treatment of the rest of the world. Occasionally stuck its nose where it didn't belong, but even then it's because someone asked us to. But overall, we were "live and let live" and a country worth your being on its good side. Over the past decade I watched one man (which one in particular, is sometimes debatable...but I digress) transform the virtually-unanimous planetary perception of my country into that of an arrogant, reckless, morally and finacially-bankrupt joke, neither giving nor deserving respect of the rest of the world. So maybe when I see the same warning signs popping up in my current adopted homeland, I felt compelled to help them avoid making the same mistakes. <br />
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So far the general feeling I get in response seems to range from screaming indifference to "who the hell are you to say?" So be it. So when the latest taste of Romania to hit the global consciousness is its new income tax on the practice of witchcraft, I simply watch as the leaders cry indignantly because the world laughs at them. For you see, clearly the issue isn't taxing witches, it's the audacity of the world news to report it. I doubt the idea even thought of forming that the news pretty much reports only what it sees, and maybe the answer is to give the world something better to see about Romania. But now I'm delving into territory which I know has been explored by those far more capable and experienced than I. <br />
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As of this writing, the idiots appear to have won, if for no other reason than their sheer staggering superior numbers. Rather than continue killing myself swimming upstream against the circus, I'm going to crawl ashore and join the collective shrug, watching the insanity rush to its own destiny without me for awhile. What that means for this blog is uncertain at the moment. By swearing off stupidity, I've just shed pretty much the whole reason for writing here. But I never say "never," so who knows? Check back from time to time.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-66790916331476018522010-09-16T19:00:00.001+03:002010-10-07T17:34:31.636+03:00Not Dead Yet......but something far worse: gainfully employed. Sort of. The "employed" part is a certainty, as that giant sucking sound you hear is all of my hitherto weekday leisure (read: blog-writing) time being transformed into respectable office productivity. The "gainful" part remains to be seen, but not in a nail-biting "have I just hooked up with another carpetbagger who will flee the country with my final four months of salary?" way. It'll be good for my portfolio, to be sure. As for paying my bills? We'll see, but this funny plastic Romanian cash has a nasty habit of running away screaming in terror when it sees what I expect of it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm once again firmly mired in "Not enough hours in the day"-Land. And like advertsing in a budget crisis, blogging is the first thing to go in a time crisis. Still, the lack of access to a keyboard and hours at the same time hasn't stopped the blogging in my head (where the resident little voices have been quite helpful in this regard, actually). And I've got a great piece planned that actually benefits from a delay, allowing all the media hype and scandal dust to settle and reveal (hopefully) the facts of the case. And I firmly promise to firmly consider firmly thinking about firmly sitting down to type it, firmly. Any day now. Real soon.<br />
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Your teaser: It Began With a Leaf...Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-7709551950731829092010-07-10T00:14:00.000+03:002010-07-10T00:14:09.767+03:00First Decade for the First Born!Happy Birthday to elder spawn Kenny Jr., joining the ranks of the double digits. I hope you're doing better than great, and I hope breaking radio silence against Mom's wishes doesn't do too much damage. But 10 is a big milestone and even without communication, I can still use a calendar for pete's sake. Have a great day, little man!Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-42514306637571400822010-06-24T14:39:00.001+03:002010-06-24T14:42:08.811+03:00A Day of Double DefinitionsI respect Dan Diaconescu for one thing only; the man is living his dream and that is rare. Having decided he has important things to say to the world, he bought himself a TV station and is now doing just that. In person, all day, every day. And there my respect ends with a resounding thud. DD is a self-aggrandizing publicity whore who makes Jerry Springer look classy. He is the proletariat's Barnum's retarded younger brother, and he'd have it no other way. Whatever's on the opposide side of the spectrum from "intellectual," 10 steps beyond that lies our man Dan. But he knows where the audience is and how to capture them. The lower the viewers' I.Q., the more they love him, so you can guess he pretty much owns the country in that regard. I'm not going to editorialize much more because I begrudge him the free publicity, except to wonder if anyone's really fooled by that ridiculous fake grey hair. No, I'm not going to run his photo here; you can look him up if you really want to know. Because if you really want to know, I really don't want to know.<br />
<br />
Anyway, he was just arrested, ostensibly for blackmailing the mayor of someplace too small to be even called a village. If the latter paid a sum, the former wouldn't run a scandalous report on his show. And therein we have our first double definition: "<strong>beguile</strong>." It means "<em>to charm or divert</em>," which we already knew is DD 2 a T. But it also means "<em>to influence by trickery</em>," which, we now also know, applies to Danny Boy. And initially, the arrest had me saying "good on ya, Karma!" He had it coming to him, he's bad news in general - a personality cult as undeserved as it is misused. The police station where he landed was besieged by a mob of sobbing, screaming (and probably largely unemployed) fans who probably hadn't a single soul among them who could tell you the square root of one. In their defense, though, if given enough typewriters and time, they would probably produce a Shakespeare play. DD instinctively found the news cameras and proclaimed the conspiracy against his innocent self. And I had to admit he wasn't 100% wrong.<br />
<br />
Not about his innocence, of course, that's clearly non-existent. But the conspiracy part bears some examination. With all of the absolute corruption and insanity running rampant throughout Romania's core structure, DD blackmailing the mayor of some flyspeck commune is law enforcement's top priority? Thanks to criminals, premeditated and negligent, reaching to the country's top seats, Romania, already one of the poorest countries in the EU, is now additionally on the verge of financial and accompanying social collapse. This is mainly due to "austerity measures" which take income away only from those who didn't cause the crisis and who can't afford to pay for it. Meanwhile there's a known <a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/politics/34-politics/12249-elena-udrea-daca-patriciu-si-ar-plati-datoria-la-stat-nu-am-taia-pensiile-mici">embezzler</a> running free who reportedly owes the state 600 million Euro, a <a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/dailyevents/41-dailyevents/12616-piatra-neamt-prostitute-owes-almost-1-bln-rol-to-the-local-budget">prostitute</a> running free who owes 22,000 Euro, <a href="http://www.metro.co.uk/news/world/687082-mafia-bosses-aiming-to-be-mps">Mafia</a> and <a href="http://www.havocscope.com/regions-main/europe/romania/">black marketeers</a> whose crimes and debts are known and documented, and rampant <a href="http://www.evz.ro/detalii/stiri/un-nou-caz-de-nepotism-in-companiile-statului-844156.html">nepotism</a> in state-run <a href="http://www.ziare.com/stiri/ancheta/cumnatul-lui-geoana-se-alatura-rudelor-lui-basescu-si-boagiu-la-transelectrica-699926">venues</a> which pay millions of the public's Euro to politicians' useless <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepotism#Romania">relatives</a> in criminally-<a href="http://www.ziare.com/bnr/banci/cumnatul-lui-geoana-preia-eximbank-682362">overpaid</a> positions, often custom-invented. At the same time, said politicians fill the news by <a href="http://www.bucharestherald.ro/politics/34-politics/12581-antonescu-boc-should-have-clearly-told-the-parliament-qwe-steal-more-than-we-can-produceq">accusing</a> their opponents of stealing, in that time-honored Communist tradition: accuse others of crimes loudly enough that nobody notices you've hypocritically commited those same crimes first. Oh, and lest we forget; the State's approval, without public knowledge or input, to start treating Romania's crops with a <a href="http://www.nasii.ro/2010/02/05/initium-si-codex-alimentarius/">BASF fungicide</a>, of which the effects on humans are unknown except to cause cancer. By any comparison, Dan the TV Weasel is harmless. But he's the one in jail, isn't he?<br />
<br />
So, we come to the other Double Definition of the Day: "<strong>arrest</strong>." It means "<em>to take into custody</em>," which is of course what happened to Danny. It also means "<em>to slow down or stop</em>," as in the progress of something. Ironically, the agency that performs the first definition, also completely fits the latter. Beyond a certain threshold, that is. If you want to be a criminal in Romania, your danger of being caught doesn't lay with how much you steal or how you steal it, but rather with the power of your influence. The worst criminal officials or businessmen really need to know only one guy to keep them out of jail, don't they? Dan, on the other hand, knows millions of people, and they all know him. But they're mainly blue-collar (if that) vidiots who couldn't possibly help him out of a bind, so into the joint he goes. If you're Romanian law enforcement looking to justify your job and keep your worthless butt out of the press for another year, who are you going after; the silent criminal who can have your family killed with one phone call; or the loud high-profile punk who couldn't arrange a prank phone call?<br />
<br />
Imagine the progess in all areas if the powers of prosecution spent less time <em>arresting</em> (slowing down the process) and more time <em>arresting</em> (taking criminals into custody)? Given the unlikelihood of this, the question becomes, who arrests the arrestors?<br />
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That's enough wordplay for today, I need a rest.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-45767737061436730192010-06-07T13:25:00.000+03:002010-06-07T13:25:48.614+03:00Damp and Fishy-Smelling Heads Prevail...Did you read about the scientists who researched what it would take to freeze Lake Erie solid? The reason for this is that Lake Erie was calculated to be the amount of ice needed to cool down what has been one of the more unfortunate and embarrassing battles known to the planet. Well, make that to the country. Would you believe around town? Okay, okay... at least to my devoted readers. Both of you know what I'm talking about... me and the ex.<br />
<br />
After what has now become years of saber-rattling, accusations, and other paths to Mutually Assured Destruction, the latter-day Gorbachev and Reagan have finally taken steps to bury the <strike>57-megaton missile</strike> hatchet for the sake of a peaceful family, if not world. (Cold War metaphors end here, I promise.)<br />
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No small part of arriving at this conclusion is that today is my birthday (slipped that in pretty smoothly, eh?) and such a day compels you to contemplate where your life is going. To this end I hereby endeavor to clean up my act, starting with this blog. There is so much stupidity and surrealism out there for me to write about without bringing my own family issues into it. I offer my sincerest apologies for subjecting you to my dirty laundry, and with luck (or a U.N. peacekeeping task force, whichever comes first (wow, promise broken in less than one paragraph, a new record)), it shall not appear again. <br />
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As we all know, it takes two to refuse to tango. But a first step is still crucial, whether you're dancing or not.Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-25246917926148379072010-05-25T14:21:00.000+03:002010-05-25T14:21:34.916+03:00No Omment...<div style="text-align: center;">Photos of TV screen during commercial for upcoming Aerosmith Tour in Bucharest:<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvd941bAI/AAAAAAAAAyg/IReKBGG6On8/s1600/AeroCoked1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvd941bAI/AAAAAAAAAyg/IReKBGG6On8/s320/AeroCoked1.jpg" /></a><br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvfIGTwPI/AAAAAAAAAyo/QAlOHL9qFtE/s1600/AeroCoked2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvfIGTwPI/AAAAAAAAAyo/QAlOHL9qFtE/s320/AeroCoked2.jpg" /></a><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvgV4E55I/AAAAAAAAAyw/cnJw-S48Kuk/s1600/AeroCoked3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvgV4E55I/AAAAAAAAAyw/cnJw-S48Kuk/s320/AeroCoked3.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
Official Aerosmith Tour Poster:<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvcPn3fqI/AAAAAAAAAyY/iix4t22SDVU/s1600/AeroCocked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_uvcPn3fqI/AAAAAAAAAyY/iix4t22SDVU/s320/AeroCocked.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
And the comment which is not being made is that someone was paid for this while i'm still looking for work...</div>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-83755968052518487962010-05-18T01:13:00.000+03:002010-05-18T01:13:40.666+03:00He Who Lives By the Pixel...<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Within the past few years, Bucharest has become overrun with "video billboards." Because regular billboards in the town, which cover not only all streets but all buildings over 5 floors as well, had become so invasive and ubiquitous that motorists had inevitably become numb to them (okay, you caught me; Bucharest motorists are generally numb to everything), advertisers and the elected criminals they pay off decided to take things to the next level. Result: billboard-sized video screens; some erected on poles, some attached to buildings, frequently apartment blocs, thus blocking the windows of several flats at a time. Glaringly bright at all hours, literally blindingly so at night, often outshining all traffic lights in the immediate vicinity. To say nothing of the folks whose homes (specifically, bedroom windows) face opposite these monsters... but since I just said something, I suppose it's too late to say nothing.</div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Respite, however brief, comes from an unlikely source: Bill Gates. It seems these billboards largely run the Microsoft Windows operating system, and you'll be happy to know that it performs as solid and dependably in the commercial world as it does on your own PC. But what, on your laptop, is an inexcusable negligent glitch, is, on these obnoxious paragons to advertising technology, a refreshing karmic hoist on their own petards.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G3mFYLbhI/AAAAAAAAAxg/DiRrkWnyQyg/s1600/WinBotch01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G3mFYLbhI/AAAAAAAAAxg/DiRrkWnyQyg/s320/WinBotch01.jpg" wt="true" /></a><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G3oQsj0jI/AAAAAAAAAxo/G47MvROqYdM/s320/WinBotch02.jpg" wt="true" /></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G3pguCpsI/AAAAAAAAAxw/xDIMnFkd6tg/s1600/WinBotch05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G3pguCpsI/AAAAAAAAAxw/xDIMnFkd6tg/s320/WinBotch05.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">You can see how bright these atrocities are, from the first photo showing it clearly visible in direct sunlight, to the last photo which shows how, at night, nothing near the screen is remotely visible. So the only consolation is moments like these, when their money and energy is clearly wasted, however briefly.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Less poetic or justice-y, but to a tech geek like me, still entertaining, are other examples of Windows faceplants in professional venues. You wouldn't explicitly wish these people harm from their glitches, but you might take comfort in knowing your Blue Screen of Death has plenty of company in high places.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G6rdE3OOI/AAAAAAAAAyA/W5xkduWRliE/s1600/WinBotch04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G6rdE3OOI/AAAAAAAAAyA/W5xkduWRliE/s320/WinBotch04.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The internal "Info Channel" that the Cable TV company reserves on your service. This has happened since cable's earliest days. I remember seeing similar Commodore Amiga error messages in the 90s.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G6qDtAS6I/AAAAAAAAAx4/tAKdapiMe74/s1600/WinBotch03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G6qDtAS6I/AAAAAAAAAx4/tAKdapiMe74/s320/WinBotch03.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The Departures Screens of Milan Airport. All of them. Ouch!</span></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G9fdgAzqI/AAAAAAAAAyI/87lFOvDgjkE/s1600/WinBotch06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_G9fdgAzqI/AAAAAAAAAyI/87lFOvDgjkE/s320/WinBotch06.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">An ATM. Of course, the Windows glitch didn't cause money to fly out.</span></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Ain't technology wonderful?</div>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-17765273249811198312010-05-17T23:04:00.001+03:002010-05-17T23:39:33.964+03:00Asshole Parker of the Day<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://www.bucharestherald.com/dailyevents/41-dailyevents/11893-jonathan-scheele-romanians-do-everything-at-the-last-moment-and-not-always-entirely">Jonathan Scheele</a>, former EU ambassador to Romania says he cannot accept Romanians' "tendency of doing everything in the last moment - and not always completing what they have to do."</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I mention this because the topic of today's photo - handicap access - falls squarely under this concern. When I first arrived here in 2003, the worst handicap officially acknowledged in Romania was having to watch football sober. Since then, newer constructions (largely foreign owned) have sought to remedy this. Ikea just outside town has a full row of at least 20 marked handicapped parking spots, among a few other notable examples. But in a rare native effort, BCR Bank on Unirii Blvd has a snazzy new wheelchair ramp. Not bad for about two decades later than the rest of the world. </div> <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">So where does "not always completing" come in? Like virtually everything involving legal provision in Romania (such as handicap access), enforcement to deter violations is nowhere to be found. Do I really need to mention that the handicap parking spots at Ikea are the very first ones to fill up in the morning, and with nary a limp visible among any driver or passenger? Ikea also has parking spots marked specifically for pregnant women, and apparently it's fine to park there if you simply have enough of a beer gut to <em>look</em> pregnant. In my country, his car gets towed for this. Here, <em>he</em> calls <em>you</em> stupid for not thinking of taking the spot before him. </div> <br />
But handicap parking spot abuse is as common as dust in this town, and not blogworthy even by my very low standards. No, the slimebag in these photos hits a new low: blocking the wheelchair ramp, of all things. And not just parking across it, but actually driving <em>up</em> into it! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GdWl2Dd9I/AAAAAAAAAxQ/cDn0MmbfXBM/s1600/RampPark01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GdWl2Dd9I/AAAAAAAAAxQ/cDn0MmbfXBM/s200/RampPark01.jpg" width="200" wt="true" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GdYSlxleI/AAAAAAAAAxY/elFBsHjOUY0/s1600/RampPark02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GdYSlxleI/AAAAAAAAAxY/elFBsHjOUY0/s200/RampPark02.jpg" width="200" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">This goes beyond inconvenience, and straight into safety hazard. Certainly it's illegal, but that and 16 RON will get you a coffee at the local Starbucks. For clarity: coffee at the local Starbucks costs 16 RON regardless... my point is that if you shout "criminal!" around here, <em>at most </em>someone might reply "Gesundheit." For civic duty to be ignored by this populace is a given. For it to be actively flouted takes a new depth of asshole. Hey, welcome to my town.</div>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-22064136494064869662010-05-17T21:59:00.001+03:002010-05-17T22:10:15.501+03:00Must...Still...Not...Make...Comment!<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">But a bit of backstory may be needed here. Disregarding, for the moment, those silly World Health studies which prove all blog writers worldwide to be fetishists for pink-haired preteens, I was almost entirely made aware of "Lazy Town" because a local newspaper includes a DVD of episodes each week and my kid's watching them. It's apparently a popular Iceland export, just above Bjork but below volcanic ash. I was actually made aware of the "Stephanie" doll (excuse me, Poseable Action Figure!) by a professional acquaintance who was pleased as punch to have found it for her young daughter... an avowed "Hannah Montana" fan. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Now honestly, could I look straight into the eye of this joyful nigh-unto-tears woman, bouncing-off-the-walls bursting with pride at her accomplishment and anticipation of her daughter's reaction, and tell her she'd bought the wrong thing?</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>Now honestly, could I look <em>you</em> straight into the eye and say if I did or not?<br />
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Hell yes I did. Choosing to hear it from me or from her daughter? No-brainer. I know how kids work. Hell hath no fury like a child who receives the wrong color Power Ranger. Remember "Addams Family Values" where the girl killed her parents for their birthday gift of Malibu Barbie when she'd wanted Ballerina Barbie? "Fiction," you decry? "Non-parent," I rejoin. So, while many lives were spared this day, it's not the point of my story. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GQhS1-K-I/AAAAAAAAAxI/q5IFxSKYgrA/s1600/HannaSteph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GQhS1-K-I/AAAAAAAAAxI/q5IFxSKYgrA/s320/HannaSteph.jpg" wt="true" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Hannah and Stephanie; Separated at Birth? </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Maybe around the bangs I can see it, but sure as shootin' your 6-year-old won't.</span></div><br />
Turning over the package in my hand (I specify again, "turning over," not "fondling" so no paedo jokes, okay? If you're a regular reader you know my thing is rechargeable flashlights), I discovered this inexpensive Asian import's entertainment value went, as it stereotypically does, far beyond its intent once linguistics are factored in. It is at this point beyond which words will fail me so we'll just finish with the photos... <br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GKuQIxmFI/AAAAAAAAAw4/sF36Ug5iaD0/s1600/LayzTwon01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GKuQIxmFI/AAAAAAAAAw4/sF36Ug5iaD0/s200/LayzTwon01.jpg" width="193" wt="true" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GKwaoTkEI/AAAAAAAAAxA/UTlWrAYZpnU/s1600/LayzTwon02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_GKwaoTkEI/AAAAAAAAAxA/UTlWrAYZpnU/s200/LayzTwon02.jpg" width="200" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>"Latest with most the gift of vogue! The best choice with the best gift"</em></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>"best product comes from this product to rank first a"</em></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Next time you get the urge to complain about your odds with the lottery, just try to fathom the odds of a country with over 1.3 <em>billion</em> people in it and apparently not <em>one</em> English proofreader...</div>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7120536293575732783.post-67700056081528086302010-05-17T20:51:00.007+03:002010-05-17T22:03:56.548+03:00The Day I Have to Hunt for Material Is The Day...Ah, Forget It, It'll Never Happen.<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">It's true... writing this blog is so easy, it's a wonder I'm not getting a salary. Isn't that how it works? The less hard you work, the more someone's likely paying you to do it? Well, even so, I'm open-minded enough to admit there are jobs out there still even cushier (certainly better paying) than writing this blog. One that comes immediately to mind is "Romanian Copyright Auditor." </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Yep, this fell into my lap like most of it does. The good news is: copyright infringement in Romania is apparently widespread enough to finally attract the attention of high-ranking politicians. The bad news is, they're <em>joining in</em> on it!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">For your viewing pleasure: presidential candidate Eduard Manole's campaign poster. Note the clever hammer logo at the bottom.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F4xb45tuI/AAAAAAAAAwY/IxRZWNXD2eM/s1600/Hammers+-+Manole01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F4xb45tuI/AAAAAAAAAwY/IxRZWNXD2eM/s200/Hammers+-+Manole01.jpg" width="153" wt="true" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F40NmojtI/AAAAAAAAAwg/VLidyalWVkg/s1600/Hammers+-+Manole02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F40NmojtI/AAAAAAAAAwg/VLidyalWVkg/s200/Hammers+-+Manole02.jpg" width="200" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">This logo is all over his <a href="http://eduardmanole.com/va-puteti-imagina-paradisul.html">website</a> as well. Too bad it was all over Pink Floyd's rock album "The Wall" in 1979, and even moreso in the 1982 movie adaptation.<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F43q3newI/AAAAAAAAAww/rrmpKHN8B9A/s1600/Hammers+-+Wall01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F43q3newI/AAAAAAAAAww/rrmpKHN8B9A/s320/Hammers+-+Wall01.jpg" width="320" wt="true" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F42O78-hI/AAAAAAAAAwo/VQ1t5tJ1v48/s1600/Hammers+-+Wall00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Wj4osoMVgrU/S_F42O78-hI/AAAAAAAAAwo/VQ1t5tJ1v48/s200/Hammers+-+Wall00.jpg" width="200" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Manole's 2009 campaign, as best as I could translate, included a desire to "undo 20 years of damage." I suppose only <em>here</em> would plagiarism <em>not</em> fall into that category.</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">In truth, plagiarism and politics are apparently not such strange bedfellows. Globally prominent figures from <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article695235.ece">Vladimir Putin</a> to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/23/biden-plagiarism-accusati_n_120851.html">Joe Biden</a> have these proud credentials under their belts. My favorite, which I distinctly remember seeing on the news years ago but can't find reference to at the moment, was a US candidate whose speech was lifted directly from the script of the 1993 film "Dave." But this is my point. It was in the news. Just as Putin and Biden and all the others were in the news. Their flimflams got the exposure and resulting derision they deserved. But in my too-long-to-be-called-anything-other-than-adopted homeland, it seems the hammers (of justice; smooth metaphor insert, eh?) will not soon batter down any doors.</div>Volguushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03761920128387738587noreply@blogger.com0